


Tired of Hiding

by Cnhedges



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 35,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23618605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cnhedges/pseuds/Cnhedges
Summary: It's time for her to come out to the world. She's tired of hiding and lying to her fans. They deserve to know the truth.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

"My name is Dianna Elise Agron. I'm 26 years old. I am an actress. I have a brother named Jason. I'm blonde. I love photography. Skulls and cemeteries fascinate me. I have a dog named Arthur. I love Paris, France. I'm a singer. I play Lucy Quinn Fabray on Glee. I've been a dancer most of my life. I love wearing dresses.

These are all things that you guys most likely know about me. I've no doubts that most, if not all of the people who follow me on here are fans of me or at least Glee. So I assume I've been Googled once or twice by the majority of you. There are many many people who say that I am dating my best friend, Lea Michele. That's not true and never has been. There are many people who say that I'm a lesbian. That part is true. I'm tired of lying to the people who support me the most. So Tumblr followers: I am a lesbian. I'm single. I've dated girls in the past. The "I like girls" t-shirt stunt in Toronto wasn't a stunt or plot created by Ryan Murphy or anyone else who works on Glee. In fact, I wasn't allowed to perform at one of the shows and didn't get paid for it either. I got in a lot of trouble. I like girls. I wanted to wear the t-shirt. That's all there was to it. I hate lying to young girls who are going through coming out and dealing with their feelings. I've been there. I'm proof that it gets better and it's not the end of the world.

Everyone on the cast and crew of Glee already knows that I'm a lesbian and so do my family and quite a few of my closest friends. It's not something I've tried to hide but was more or less told to by the producers as well as my publicist. I told them yesterday that I was done lying and hiding. While they aren't thrilled, they understand how I feel.

So here's to the world knowing. My name is Dianna Elise Agron and I'm a lesbian who's tired of hiding."

Dianna took once last look at what she had written before clicking 'post.' She smiled and felt the weight lifting off her shoulders. She couldn't believe she had to come out twice in her life. It seemed insane. Most people only have to come out to their family and friends, Dianna had to come out to the world.

She laughed thinking about the first time she had come out. She had been so angry at her little brother when he asked if she was a lesbian in front of her mom. Dianna was only 14 at the time and had been struggling with talking to them for a while. Her mom looked at her, nodded and said "I don't care if you're gay or straight, you're my daughter and I love you." Her brother wasn't as thrilled. He clearly had been hoping to get his big sister in trouble.

She picked up her iPhone and hit her little brother's name. It rang twice before he answered.

"Hey kid." She said into the phone.

"Are you going to call me kid for the rest of our lives? I'm 24 you know. And Di, do you not know what time it is?" Jason answered and Dianna could hear the sleepiness in his voice. She looked at the clock and it read 3:01am.

"Whoops, sorry. Yeah I have every intention of calling you kid for the rest of our lives. So deal with it." Dianna laughed into the phone.

"So what's up sis? Why are you calling me? What are you even doing up this late? Don't you have an early call time in a few hours?"

"Yeah I have to be on set at 6. I couldn't sleep so I decided to come out on my Tumblr page. I was tired of hiding I guess so it's out there now. I expect to be on the front page of US weekly and all the rest of those magazines by tomorrow." Dianna rolled her eyes thinking about how nuts everyone would be going soon.

"That's great Di. I'm proud of you." Jason said sleepily.

"Thanks. It's just its time to do what's right for me. Although this is going to spark a ton of rumors about Lea and I. I feel bad about that, but hopefully she will understand right? Maybe I should call her? Although she has a long day tomorrow and that wouldn't really be fair on her. I mean she knows about me, obviously and she has never cared, but that was before something like this actually affected her and became real. Before it was just rumors and speculation and now its reality. I'll see if maybe we can talk before we start shooting tomorrow. Yeah, that's what I'll do." Dianna took a breath and could hear her brother light snoring on the other end of the line. She laughed again. "Goodnight, little brother. I love you."

Dianna hung up the phone and decided she should probably sleep. She changed quickly and climbed into bed. Arthur was already snoring on the other side. She laid there for half hour before her brain finally decided to calm down and let her get a couple hours sleep.

————————————————

"Hey Lea!" Dianna yelled to her best friend when she saw her across the lot. In true Lea fashion, the brunette ran the 20 feet between then and jumped into Dianna's arms.

"Hi Di!" Lea yelled. She was almost always in a good mood and always all smiles.

"Hey. Um can we talk? In my trailer?" Dianna asked, suddenly very nervous.

"Of course, is everything ok?" Lea asked as they walked towards to cluster of trailers.

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about something I did last night." They reached the door marked 'Dianna' and walked in. Lea sat down on the sofa while the blonde got 2 bottles of water out of her mini fridge and handed one to her friend.

"So, did you have a one night stand last night? Who's the lucky girl?" Lea teased. Dianna laughed because she knew Lea didn't actually believe that she would do that.

"Well I wrote a new Tumblr post. I came out on there. I wrote that I'm a lesbian and tired of hiding." Dianna kept her head down and couldn't look Lea in the eyes.

"Dianna that's great! I'm so proud of you." Lea wrapped her arms around the blonde and gave her a hug. "You did make sure it was ok with the guys first didn't you?" Lea's arms dropped down and she took her friends hands in hers.

"Yeah of course I did. Although I think it's dumb that I have to ask Ryan, Ian and Brad permission to be who I am but whatever. So you're not mad at me?"

"Why on earth would I be mad at you?"

"My coming out affects you too. The rumors are going to spread like wildfire now. They finally calmed down for the most part. The guys forcing us to live separately and limiting us to appearing together places to only a few times a month. The only reason they even let us hold hands on tour was because it sold tickets. The rumors are going to get bad again. I don't want that for you. I know you hate people thinking you're a lesbian." Dianna stopped talking and looked down at her friend's tiny hands. How perfectly they fit into her own.

"Dianna listen to me. I don't care what the media says about me. You're my best female friend. I hate that they wouldn't let us keep living together just because people decided we were together. I don't care about sexuality. Hell I don't even know what mine is. Maybe I'm bi. I don't care enough to think about it. You love who you love. If I was going to date a girl, it would probably be you, honestly. So the media isn't all that wrong. Unfortunately I don't really get a say in who I "date." Right now, they have me dating Cory for ratings. Maybe one day we can try it out." Lea laughed and squeezed Dianna's hands.

The blonde was about to respond when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Dianna answered.

It was their PA, Jake. "Lea, you're needed on set. Dianna, hair and makeup."

"Alright, we're coming. Thanks Jake." Lea answered. She stood up as the door shut. "Give me a hug." She said to Dianna. Her arms were wrapped around her friend's neck before she had even stood up completely. "Dianna, I love you. I'm so proud of you." She released her friend and looked her straight in the eyes. "We will deal with the media together ok? If they want to say we are dating, then let them. I don't care. I would be lucky to call you my girlfriend. We gotta go work now. I'll see you on set. If we get out of here early enough, we should get dinner. I found a great vegan place the other day."

"Thanks Lea. It means a lot that you would say that. Dinner sounds great. Now get on that set before Ryan has a cow." Dianna laughed and both girls walked down the steps of the trailer. Lea headed left to the soundstage and Dianna headed right to the hair and makeup trailer. She felt so much better knowing that Lea was on her side. She had been so afraid that Lea would get mad. Lea was a lot more famous and important to Glee than Dianna herself was. She had a lot more to lose. Dianna reached the door to the trailer when something Lea said finally reached her brain.

"Did she say she would be lucky to be my girlfriend?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Marker. And action!"

Quinn rolled down the hallway in her wheelchair. "I got your text. You have 3 minutes. The voting has started and I wanna be out there to press the flash."

Rachel looks desperate in her words "Look I owe you an apology. I found out you and Finn were campaigning together and I kind of freaked out. I got really jealous and irrational so..I just…I should've been supportive."

"Well since I had no idea that was going on, it's pretty easy to forgive you. So I'm glad we cleared that up." Quinn turns her wheelchair around to roll off but before she makes it all the way around, Rachel is in front of her again.

"Wait, do you not understand what you mean to me?"

'Shit,' Dianna thought. Her brain switched back into her own mind. 'Focus, Dianna, focus! You are Quinn Fabray not Dianna Agron. Focus!'

"Cut! Dianna! You missed your cue. Where did you go?" Ryan bellowed into his megaphone.

"I'm sorry." Dianna said. She was so embarrassed. "I spaced. I promise I'm good. Let's go again."

"Ok, let's start from your line, Lea." Ryan said. Quinn vaguely heard him talking to the crew and barely caught when he yelled 'Action' again.

"Wait, do you not understand what you mean to me? When we first met you were everything I wanted to be. You were beautiful and popular and you had Finn."

"How the mighty have fallen." Quinn said shaking her head. A bit of bitch mode returning in her voice once again.

"No you don't understand. I still see you that way. That's why I got so crazy. Because I wasn't seeing the new Quinn. The still beautiful but humbled and inspiring Quinn."

Dianna could feel her mind drifting again. Lea's voice was getting quieter. 'She needs to stop calling me beautiful. No, she is calling Quinn beautiful. It's Rachel speaking not Lea. What is wrong with me? I don't like Lea. She is my best friend. Why is what she said this morning affecting me so much. I am a profess-'

"Cut! Dianna!" Ryan screamed into his megaphone this time. Dianna jumped and the soundstage came back into her focus. "What the hell is wrong with you today? We only have an hour to get this scene done. You need to focus!"

"Ryan, I'm so sorry. Can I have a 5 minute break. Please? I promise I'll be better after that. I just..I need a moment. Please?" Dianna couldn't believe she was actually begging Ryan for a break. She knew he would give her one. All she was doing was making Lea, Naya and the rest of the crew look at her like she was insane.

"5 minutes, Di. We will reset while you're gone. Everyone, back to one."

"Thanks" Dianna barely mumbled as she jumped up from the wheelchair, picked up the bottom of her dress and ran off to the nearest bathroom. She could hear heels clicking behind her and she prayed it wasn't Lea. She needed to be able to focus on her feelings and she couldn't do that with Lea in the room. She looked at herself in the mirror, frustrated she couldn't splash water on her face. Instead she leaned down and took a sip of the cold water coming out of the faucet. When she looked back up, Naya was standing there in her deep red dress, looking at her in the mirror.

"Damn, Naya, you scared me. This isn't a horror movie you know." Dianna turned around to face her friend.

"Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were ok." Naya put her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Spacing out isn't like you, Di. You're one of the most focused actresses I know. Once that camera is rolling, it rarely takes you more like 1 or 2 takes for a scene. What's going on? Is it your family? Is it the media? I saw your Tumblr post this morning, which by the way I'm crazy proud of you for. Is it a girl? Come on, talk to me. Maybe I can help."

Dianna had always really liked Naya. She seemed like she was a badass sometimes but in reality, she was just a sweet girl who cared about her friends.

"It's Lea, isn't it?" Naya asked suddenly.

"What? Of course not. She is my best friend. I could never see her like that." Dianna lied, knowing her words were spilling out a little too quickly.

"Dianna, come on. Even I would date her. She's hot and such a sweetheart. With as close as you 2 are, it wouldn't surprise me. Besides, I know you never got over that night. Granted neither of you even remembered it until Heather told you but still."

"I don't want to talk about that. We need to go back out there; the 5 minutes are almost up." Dianna turned to leave but Naya grabbed her arm.

"Dianna, wait. You know I'm here if you need to talk, ok? Anytime. Now clear you mind and go shoot that scene. You are Quinn Fabray. After you get it shot, you can space all you want. Ok? Just focus." Naya let go of the blondes arm.

"Thanks." Dianna said before walking back out onto the set. She walked over to the chair with her name on it, took a huge gulp of her water and walked back over to the 'school hallway.'

"You ok?" Lea asked, her face clearly full of concern. "I saw Naya run after you so I figured I would let you be."

The makeup artist came over to touch up the girls faces while they were talking.

"I'm good. Really. I just have some things on my mind." Dianna was trying so hard to look her best friend in the eye but it was proving difficult.

"Well Ryan said I should be done by 8 tonight if everything goes well, so are we still on for dinner? Please?" Lea's smile grew as big as it possibly could. Dianna knew she couldn't say no to that.

"Of course. Call me when you get off work and I'll meet you there." Dianna smiled back. She made a decision then and there. Lea was her best friend and only her best friend. At least until Dianna could figure out just what the hell she was feeling. Lea didn't deserve the cold shoulder and Dianna wouldn't do that.

"Places!" Ryan said into his megaphone.

"Come on, Di. We are shooting Faberry scenes. It's our favorite. So let's do this scene justice ok?" Lea took Dianna's hand into her own and led her back to her wheelchair.

"Ready ladies?" Both girls nodded. "Alright. Lights. Camera. Quiet. Marker. And action!"

Dianna arrived at the restaurant before Lea that evening. She had called about an hour before saying that she had one more small scene to shoot and then she would be getting out. Dianna was already sitting down drinking a glass of white wine before Lea showed up.

"Hey Di. I'm so sorry I'm late. You know Ryan. I swear he waits until we have plans to make us work longer! It's some evil plot!" Lea laughed before taking a drink of Dianna's wine. "That's really good. I think I'll have that too." She turned to the waiter who had come over when she sat down. "Hi, I'll take whatever she's having. Thanks."

"So what scene were you shooting?" Dianna asked.

"One of the anti-prom scenes with Mark, Cory, Darren, Chris and Lauren. It took forever because Cory and Mark couldn't stop making jokes." Lea rolled her eyes. Dianna knew that while Lea loved to have fun on set, she was a serious actress and knew when to do her job.

"Sounds about right." Dianna smiled. The waiter returned with Lea's wine and the girls ordered.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" Lea asked and Dianna almost choked on her wine.

"Nothing, I'm ok, really." Dianna answered. She really didn't want to have this conversation.

"Dianna, talk to me. I know you. Pretty much better than anyone else and I know when something is wrong with you. You never take more than a couple takes for a scene and you never space out like you did today. Something is on your mind. What is it?" The pleading in Lea's eyes was almost too much to take.

"I'm just tired. I didn't sleep much last night." Dianna lied.

"Does this have anything to do with announcing you're a lesbian to the media? Has someone said something to you about it? Have you gotten hate over it?"

"I don't know what's been said. I've been avoiding all things media all day. I haven't even opened twitter. I just needed a day to enjoy being free before I started having people tell me I'm going to hell." Dianna took a sip of her wine before continuing. "I remember dealing with all of that when I came out to my family and friends when I was 14. People called me names all day, every day. The worst was when people would tell me I was a liar and just saying that for attention. Apparently since I had long hair and wore makeup, I wasn't 'butch' enough to be a lesbian. It sucked. When I took a child development class when I was 16, all the kids made fun of me and said that it was stupid that I was in that class because I would never have kids. I hated being gay but I couldn't change it. I'm just not looking forward to hearing all that again on such a large scale." Dianna wasn't sure why she had just told Lea all that.

"Do you regret coming out on Tumblr?" Lea asked.

Dianna didn't have a chance to answer before their food came. Both girls said thank you before continuing the conversation.

"I don't regret it at all. It feels nice to finally not have to hide. I'm just not looking forward to the initial backlash over it." Dianna took a bite of her dinner. It was really good. "This is delicious. How did you find it?"

"Oh, someone actually tweeted me about it the other day. I figured it was worth trying out."

"Good choice." The blonde took another bite before Lea spoke.

"You can't avoid the media all together. You realize that right?" Dianna nodded "So when you're ready to read your twitter, Tumblr or even Google, I'll be right next to you if you want."

Dianna felt her heart swell. Lea really was one of the best people she knew. She couldn't help her mind wandering to what it would be like to date her. She snapped back to the present.

"Thanks, Lea."

"You should spend the night at my house tonight!" Lea all of a sudden exclaimed.

"I can't." Dianna said quickly. There was no way she could stay at Lea's right now. Especially since Lea would insist they sleep in the same bed and watch movies all night.

"Come on! Claude and Shelia miss you! You haven't been over to visit them in like two weeks." Lea was playing the cat card. When Dianna and Lea had lived together, they had adopted 2 kittens that Lea had found in a parking lot. It wasn't until the cats decided to sleep on her face, that Dianna had realized she inherited her father's cat allergy. When they had been forced to live separately, Lea had taken the cats but Dianna had visitation rights.

"Lea, I don't know. I miss them but I don't know if I can." Dianna was trying desperately to come up with an excuse as to why she couldn't sleep over but she was coming up blank.

"Please, Di. We can watch old black and white movies. It'll be fun!" Lea was begging now and it was hard not to laugh at how much she looked like a five year old.

"What about Arthur. I can't leave him home alone all night."

"Bring him over. He gets along with the cats perfectly fine." Lea took the last bite off her plate before looking up at Dianna with those damn puppy dog eyes.

"Ok, Lea. I'll sleep over." Dianna downed the rest of her wine, her mind racing. She couldn't believe she had just agreed to sleep in the same bed with the woman she was possibly in love with.

"Good! This is going to be so much fun!" Lea squealed.

Dianna rolled her eyes at her friend's enthusiasm. "Yeah it will."

The girls paid for their dinners before agreeing to meet at Lea's in an hour. Lea gave Dianna a huge hug, and Dianna couldn't help smelling the brunette hair that was in her face. It made her knees go weak. Dianna quickly pulled away.

"I'll see you in a bit. Love you!" Lea called as she walked off towards her car.

"Love you too," Dianna said back, the words catching in her throat. Her heart was pounding. She was in love with her best friend. There was no denying it. She didn't know how she never realized it before. She was in love with Lea Michele and that was not good.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time she reached her apartment, Dianna had no idea how she had gotten there. Her mind had been racing since she left Lea at the restaurant. She climbed the stairs to her 3rd floor home, tripping over more stairs than she would like to admit. She opened the door and was immediately greeted by Arthur.

"Hey little man. You wanna go spend the night at Aunt Lea's?" Dianna asked, kneeling down to pet her puppy's head. Arthur wagged his butt like crazy clearly excited over having company again.

Dianna walked to her bedroom, Arthur close behind, and began packing up for the evening. She wanted to take pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt but unfortunately it had been a really hot couple months. The blonde grabbed a pair of cotton shorts and tank top. She also grabbed a fresh pair of jeans, a form fitting shirt and a pair of ballet flats for the following day. She quickly grabbed a thong and bra to wear as well. She ran into the bathroom, grabbed all her toiletries and quickly stuffed them into her overnight bag.

Dianna looked up at the clock on the wall. It was in the shape of the Eiffel Tower. Lea had given it to her when they lived together. It showed that she had 30 minutes before she was supposed to be at her friend's house. She sat down on the bed, her mind racing.

"This is such a bad idea. Why can't I say no to her? Seriously? Oh yeah, it's because clearly I'm in love with her. How the hell did this happen? When the hell did this happen? Is this just something my mind has decided it wants because Lea mentioned being lucky to call me her girlfriend? Or has this been going on longer but I've refused to actually think about it? Think Dianna, how long have you wanted to kiss her?'

Dianna's mind flashed to the night they spent on the rooftop. They had been hugging and dancing. They had taken pictures and of course they had been leaked to the media. They were the pictures that really sparked the rumors that the girls were dating. Dianna had seen the pictures a few days after they had been leaked. It did look a lot like the girls we dating and madly in love. The blonde remembered thinking that she certainly wouldn't mind being with Lea.

'I guess that was the first time I ever thought about being with her. That doesn't really count though does it? I mean that picture was pretty convincing. What about Heather's party?' Dianna's brain decided to counter.

"No," Dianna said out loud. "I refuse to think about that night." The blonde glanced at the clock again. 20 minutes left.

She grabbed her overnight bag and went into the kitchen. She put some of Arthur's food into a bag and grabbed his food and water bowls. She tossed them into her bag, grabbed Arthurs leash off the hook by the door and quickly put it on her pup.

"Ready Arthur?" She asked the dog. He started jumping up on her legs, clearly very excited. She led them outside and after a few minutes of getting everything situated, they were on their way.

Dianna tried so hard to focus on the radio but she could feel her mind wandering again, back to that night at Heather's party. She didn't remember much about it. She remembered hanging out with the cast. She remembered drinking quite a bit of alcohol. She remembered Lea being very touchy feely. Then she remembered waking up the next morning in her own bed and Lea in hers at their apartment. That's all she could remember. Nothing else from that evening is clear. All she knew about that night was what Heather and Naya had told her the next morning. As far as she knew, that's all Lea remembered too. They had never discussed it.

Dianna pulled into Lea's driveway again without realizing how she got there. She grabbed Arthur and her bag and walked up to the front door. Her stomach was in knots, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She raised her left hand and knocked. All that was left was for her to wait for that beautiful brunette to answer the door.

After what felt like an eternity and far too soon, Lea's smiling face appeared.

"Dianna!" She exclaimed! Luckily the blonde didn't have a chance to respond before Lea was kneeling to give Arthur kisses. "Hi little man. Who's the cutest puppy in the entire world? That's you. Yes you are!"

Dianna couldn't help but laugh at Lea letting the dog lick her all over her face.

"Come in, come in!" Lea stood up and stepped to the side so Dianna could walk through the front door.

"Lea, how much more have you drank since I left you?" Dianna asked. She could tell her friend was more than a bit tipsy.

"Only a few glasses. You want some?" Lea led the blonde into the kitchen and began pouring two glasses of white wine before Dianna even had a chance to answer.

"Thanks." Dianna said as she took the glass. She certainly wasn't going to argue some alcohol right now. She felt like she could barely breathe. Lea was in a tank top and very short shorts. Dianna was certain she wasn't wearing a bra either.

"So what do you want to watch?" Lea asked.

"Whatever you want is ok with me." Dianna answered.

"How about 'An Affair to Remember?'" Lea asked as she grabbed it off her DVD shelf.

"Um, yeah that's fine." Dianna wasn't really sure how much she wanted to watch a love story with the woman she was in love with but she didn't really have a choice.

"Ok, well why don't you go get changed into your pajamas and I will go set the movie up." Lea headed for her bedroom before Dianna answered, Arthur following behind.

"I guess I'll go change then." Dianna said quietly before heading into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, trying to catch her breath. "Calm down, Dianna. It's just Lea. You used to live together. You watched movies together all the time. This is nothing new or different than before." The blonde was talking quietly to herself. 'Except before you didn't want to kiss her," The voice inside her head said. "I don't want to kiss her." Dianna said out loud.

"Di, did you say something?" Lea yelled from the bedroom.

"N-no." Dianna studdered.

"Well hurry up!" Lea said.

Dianna quickly changed, making sure to leave her bra on. She didn't know why, but she felt better with it on. She looked at herself in the mirror one more time. 'Breathe, Dianna. She isn't going to jump you. She is your best friend. Nothing more. Calm down.'

"Dianna!" Lea yelled again.

Dianna walked out of the bathroom and into Lea's bedroom. She swore she saw Lea's breathe hitch at the sight of Dianna in her shorts and tank. 'No, she didn't. Now I'm seeing things! Calm down, Dianna!' The blonde was shaking as she climbed into the left side of the bed and under the covers. Arthur and the kittens were on the floor around the bed so it was only the 2 women. Dianna tried to stay as far away from Lea as she could. She figured if she could stay away, nothing bad could happen.

"Di, come cuddle with me!" Lea begged.

'Well there goes that plan.' Dianna thought to herself. Lea had always been a touchy feely person but for once, Dianna wished she wasn't. She had no choice but to scoot over closer to the other woman.

Dianna was afraid Lea could hear the pounding in her chest. If not hear it, at least feel it once she cuddled up to her. The butterflies in her stomach had become pterodactyls. Her head was on Lea's chest and Lea's arm was wrapped around her. It was exactly how a couple would lay except they weren't a couple. 'Why is Lea making me do this?' Her brain asked? 'Because she doesn't know you are in love with her and this is how she always is,' Another part answered. Dianna tried to calm down and focus on the movie but the smell of Lea's perfume was almost more than she could handle. Lea was drawing small circles on her back absentmindedly and it was about to drive the blonde insane.

Before she knew what she was doing, Dianna was speaking. "Hey Lea?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember that night at Heather's?" Dianna asked.

"Which one?" Lea asked back, clearly confused.

"The one that Naya and Heather had to tell us about the next day." Dianna said, afraid of what was about to happen.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lea sat up suddenly, sounding very defensive.

"Yes you do. I was there when Naya and Heather told us." Dianna started to climb off the bed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lea said again before she walked out of the bedroom.

Dianna followed. "You know what I'm talking about. That's why you're running away from me. Look, we never talked about it and I think we should."

"No, Dianna. No." Lea was in the kitchen now, opening and closing cabinets, clearly not really looking for anything.

"Lea!" Dianna demanded.

"Dianna!" Lea countered back. She slammed her hands on the counter. "Why the hell won't you listen to me." Dianna was silent. It was rare for Lea to get angry like this. "Why are you even bringing this up? Is this because this morning I said I would be lucky to be your girlfriend?" Lea asked, her voice a shade calmer.

"No. Well maybe. I don't know. All I know is that it happened 2 years ago and we never talked about it. Lea we kissed. Hell we made out. God only knows what else we did. We were apparently the only ones in Heather's bedroom."

"Stop, Dianna! Stop it." Lea's anger was growing. Dianna knew she shouldn't push but she couldn't help it.

"No, Lea. We are talking about this." Dianna's voice was getting louder now. "Lea how do we know we didn't have sex? We don't know what happened." Dianna's voice was getting louder now.

"I don't care what happened. I can't remember it, therefore it doesn't exist." Lea snapped back.

"It doesn't work that way. Why does this bother you so much? Is it because you think it's so horrible to have done anything like that with me? Or because you're afraid admitting it will actually make you think about your sexuality for once? Or what? Because you're afraid you liked it and you can't handle that you may like sleeping with girls more than guys." Dianna couldn't stop the words from pouring out. She didn't know why they were but she couldn't make it stop. "You said this morning you don't care about sexuality but you clearly are ashamed of yours!"

"Get out!" Lea yelled. She went to the front door and yanked it open.

"What?" Dianna asked. Quieter again. She had never seen her best friend this angry. Ever.

"I said get out." Lea made sure to enunciate every word.

"Fine." Dianna answered, the word barely being heard. She could feel the tears beginning to well up. She cleared her throat. Trying to find her voice again. "I'll get Arthur and my stuff and I'll go."

Dianna gathered up her things, trying so hard to stop her tears but failing miserably. She avoided Lea's eyes as she put Arthur's leash on and walked out the door that Lea was still holding open. She didn't look back, she couldn't. Her best friend had actually kicked her out. The second she sat down in the driver's seat, she broke down completely. She cried until she couldn't breathe. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. Then she finally put her car into drive and drove home.


	4. Chapter 4

Dianna woke up the next morning feeling like she had been beaten with Thor's giant hammer. It had been a long time since Dianna had had a hangover. Granted all she had to drink the night before was 2 glasses of white wine but still her head was pounding.

She looked over at that damn Eiffel Tower clock and saw that it was 2pm. Luckily she wasn't working again for a few days. Dianna honestly couldn't remember the last time she had slept so late. Even when she didn't have a call time to be on set, she was usually up by ten at the absolute latest. The more awake she became, the quicker and more intense the night before came back to her. She put her face into her pillow and screamed as loud as she possibly could, scaring Arthur who was perfectly happy sleeping with her in bed all day.

"Sorry, little man." She reached out and petted him. "You hungry?" He perked up his ears and took off towards the tiny kitchen in her apartment. The blonde forced herself out of bed and over to the overnight bag she had thrown on the floor on her way to the bed the night before. She dug around for a moment before coming up with her pups food and water dishes.

She walked into the kitchen where she saw Arthur sitting patiently, his eyes focused on the bag of dog food on the counter. She couldn't help but smile at her silly dog while she filled his bowl with the tiny pellets. She quickly filled up the water bowl as well and put them both on the floor. Arthur immediately started scarfing them down and Dianna walked into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was red and swollen from crying the night before and her hair looked like it did when they did the Thriller/Heads Will Roll number on the show. She grabbed the brush off the counter and forced the tangles out of the blonde mess before securing it into a tiny ponytail. She splashed her face with cold water and walked back into her bedroom.

She sat on the bed for a moment before grabbed her phone and dialing Naya's number. She knew Naya didn't have to be on set for the day either. The Latina answered on the second ring and said she would be right over.

Dianna took the clothes out of her overnight bag that she had planned to wear for the day and put them on. Then she took Arthur out to go to the bathroom. Not long after they had returned, Naya knocked on the door. Dianna immediately opened it and collapsed into her friend's arms.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Naya asked as she squeezed Dianna in a hug.

"Lea and I got into a fight." Dianna released Naya and walked over to the couch and sat down. Naya followed.

"About what?"

"Naya, I need you to tell me about that night again. The one at Heather's." Dianna told her.

"Ok. Well um, most of the cast was there. We were drinking quite a bit. You and Lea more than anyone else." Naya began.

"Why? Why were we drinking more than everyone?" Dianna interrupted. She needed every detail.

"Because everyone said that Lea could hold her alcohol better than you and you decided to prove her wrong. So you guys were having a contest to see who would win. Which by the way was a stupid idea."

"Right, I vaguely remember that." Dianna was trying hard to make that night appear in her mind but it was so fuzzy.

"Anyways, after about an hour, you two were completely trashed. You guys were dancing around and singing at the top of your lungs. Both of you were completely off key which is pretty amazing since you sing for a living." Naya paused and Dianna laughed. She couldn't remember it but it was a funny thing to imagine.

"So what happened?" Dianna asked.

"Well you guys went outside to smoke after stealing my cigarettes. You had apparently run out of yours and decided that mine were up for grabs."

"Sorry." Dianna said.

"It's ok. Anyways you guys were out there for about ten minutes and by the time you came back in, you were all over each other. You came in, tongues dueling, pushing and pulling each other into Heather's bedroom. You guys locked the door and were in there for about an hour. When you came out, you were wearing your bra and jeans. Lea was wearing your t-shirt and her panties. So clearly you guys made out and my guess is there was a lot of touching but as far as if you had sex or not, I don't know."

Dianna sat there, trying to process everything. She had heard the story before but now she was really listening to it. Something suddenly occurred to her.

"We didn't use any of Heather's sex toys right?" Dianna had never really liked toys but who knows what her drunk self liked.

"We have no idea but Heather washed them all the next day." Naya laughed.

"Right. So um, how did we get home?" Dianna asked.

"Well, once you 2 came out of Heather's bedroom, you both passed out on the couch. So Heather and I took you guys home. Heather put Lea in her bed and I put you in yours. We set your cell phone alarms so you wouldn't be late for work the next day and put trash cans by your beds. Then we left." Naya finished the story.

The girls were quiet for a moment. Dianna playing everything Naya had just told her over and over again in her head. Then she exploded.

"Why the hell didn't you keep the alcohol from us?" Dianna yelled.

"Oh don't even yell at me. You're not mad at me, you're mad at Lea. So stop yelling at me and talk to me about what happened with her." Naya said.

"I asked her about that night and she flipped out and more or less kicked me out." Dianna didn't want to give details.

"Dianna, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Dianna answered quietly.

"How long have you been in love with Lea?" Naya looked Dianna straight in the eyes.

"I'm not sure." Dianna answered so quietly, she wasn't even sure she made a noise. She looked down, refusing to look at Naya.

"Come here," The Latina pulled Dianna into a hug. "Honey, she is your best friend. She loves you and you know that. You also know she has never actually thought about her sexuality the way you have. It's never been important to her. Her 2 best friends are gay. It's not something she ever really had to deal with because you guys both already knew who you loved when she met you." Naya released Dianna before continuing." She's used to you liking girls and Jon liking guys. She works on a show filled with a gay cast and crew. She has never labeled herself because if she wants to date a girl, she will. She doesn't care. People are people to her. You know all this. I'm not saying that she will never be in love with you and I'm not saying she ever will. I'm telling you that she is your best friend. You can't be mad at her for not reciprocating your feelings, especially right away. You have to give it time. She doesn't even know you're in love with her."

"I know you're right but she was so mean to me last night. She yelled at me to get out. Who does that to their best friend? I don't think I can be around her for a while."

"Well that's pretty much tough shit and you know it. We still have 3 and a half episodes left of the season. You know that the produces are enjoying teasing everyone with all the Faberry scenes. That pretty much means you're bound to have at least 1 more scene with just the two of you. Not to mention we still have the Nationals episode to film. Performance days like that are like 17 hour days. You're going to have to be around her." Naya told her.

"I can't do it." Dianna tried to explain.

"You have to. You're a professional actress. Act when you need to and hide out in your trailer the rest of the time." Naya offered.

"Ok." Dianna answered quietly once again.

"You can do this, Di. Just a few more weeks and you can jet off to Paris and spend a month eating crepes, snails and walking through your creepy cemeteries and catacombs you seem to love so much."

Dianna laughed at that. Naya was right. It was just a few more weeks. She could pretend Lea was just another cast member until then.

"Thanks, Naya." Dianna said sincerely.

"You're welcome. You know I'm there if you need me ok? I will even play interference at work if you want." Naya smiled.

"I might hold you to that." Dianna smiled back. "Can we go get food now? I'm starving!"

"You know I don't think what you want to eat is available to you yet." Naya winked. Dianna just glared back at her. "Too soon?" Naya asked.

"Way, way too soon." Dianna answered back as they headed to the door.

"Can I just have a garden salad with your house vinaigrette dressing please?" Dianna asked the waitress before closing her menu.

"Mm-hmm," The waitress mumbled back. Dianna didn't know why she was being rude to her but she had a lot of other stuff on her mind.

"I'll have the grilled chicken with steamed veggies please." Naya told the young lady.

"Of course. Would you prefer one vegetable over the other or a mixture?" The waitress smiled at Naya.

"A mixture is fine. Thanks." Naya and Dianna handed the lady their menus.

"Um, did I do something or say something to offend that woman without realizing it?" Dianna asked, half laughing.

"Not that I know of. She was pretty rude to you though." Naya answered.

"Ok good, I'm glad we are on the same page." Dianna said back.

Naya's phone buzzed. While she was reading whatever had caused it to go off, she stopped suddenly and asked "Have you read what's being said about you?"

"No. I completely forgot about all that actually. I've had other things on my mind. I guess I should huh?" Dianna reached into her purse and quickly opened up twitter. She had more than a few hate tweets. People calling her a dyke and telling her she was going to hell. There were even a few telling her that she was worthless and should kill herself. Those didn't really bother her much. The ones that hurt her were the ones about her and Lea. More than one told her to 'back off their woman.' Those she would never understand since they didn't actually know Lea. There were quite a few clearly photoshopped pictures of Lea and herself in compromising positions. Those hurt. Even though they weren't real, it was what Dianna wanted.

"Wow." Was all Dianna could say to her friend. "Some interesting tweets on here. Quite a few proposals from some women as well. Maybe I should take one of them up on that." Dianna laughed. She couldn't believe people had actually proposed to her via a 140 character tweet.

"E! online posted an article not that long ago: 'Glee star, Dianna Agron took to her Tumblr to come out of the closet. The 26 year old actress told her followers she was tired of hiding. She stated that everyone in her life already knew and it was time her fans knew too. This revelation has sparked a whole new insanity for so called Achele and Faberry shippers. People have taken to twitter tweeting both Dianna as well as her best friend Lea to find out if they are dating in real life or if this will affect their characters on Glee. There has been no comment from Glee creator Ryan Murphy or Dianna's publist. For more on this story visit our website at shows/enews or follow us on twitter at /enews.' Well that wasn't so bad. At least they didn't make any jokes about your clothes."

"That's because my clothes are awesome." Dianna smiled. She felt a bit relieved. For now at least, it didn't seem like people seemed to care all that much about her being a lesbian.

The waitress returned with their food, practically slamming down Dianna's salad.

"Excuse me? Have I done something to upset you or offend you?" Dianna asked. She didn't understand why this woman was being so mean to her.

"You're Dianna Agron aren't you?" The waitress asked rudely.

"Yeah." Dianna answered slowly.

"I don't like dykes and you're going to hell. I have to serve you but I sure as hell don't have to be nice to such an abomination." The woman practically spat her words out.

"Now hold on a minute." Naya started, getting to her feet. "Who the hell gives you the right to judge her? Are you God? I don't think so.

"Naya, stop." Dianna pleaded. People in the restaurant were starting to stare and Dianna didn't like having people look at her.

"No, Di, this woman owes you an apology. I want to speak to your manager. You need to learn some respect. You live in Los Angeles. Are you seriously telling me that you're this rude to every single gay person who comes in here? Last time I checked, God loved all his children and doesn't make mistakes. Even if being gay is a sin, I'm pretty sure God is a hell of a lot more ashamed of you right now than of my friend here who was just trying to be honest about who she is."

Dianna looked back and forth between her friend and the waitress. The woman looked like she had been slapped.

"Now I'm pretty certain I said I want to see your manager so I can get your ass fired. Go get him." Naya demanded.

"Naya look, it's not that big of a deal. Let's just go. We can eat somewhere else." Dianna was already reaching into her purse to pull out cash to pay for the uneaten food. She stood to her feet as well, preparing to leave.

"No, Dianna, we aren't going to let her scare you away." Naya glared at the waitress.

"Seriously, it's ok. Let's just go. The paparazzi are already going to have a field day with this. Let's just go." Dianna took one last look at her rude waitress before heading to the front door. She heard Naya say one last thing to the waitress before following her out. Naya put her arm around the blondes waist and guided her through the paparazzi to her car. The Latina made sure Dianna was safely in the car before getting in the driver's side and speeding off.

Naya kept looking at Dianna like she was going to break.

"I'm ok, really. Just feels like I'm 14 again. Except this time I have the added bonus of everyone knowing who I am. It's ok. It will all blow over eventually. Now can we go try to get food again? Maybe this time we can go somewhere in West Hollywood? At least they accept me there."

"Of course." Naya grabbed Dianna's hand and squeezed it. "West Hollywood, here we come."


	5. Chapter 5

Dianna walked onto set a few days later. It was just her luck that the first person she saw was Lea. She ducked behind a trailer and waited for her 'friend' to walk by. Once she was gone, Dianna quickly ran into her own home away from home. She dropped down onto her couch, her heart racing. She hadn't seen Lea since the brunette had kicked her out. She didn't think it was going to affect her this much. She was close to tears, but forced them not to come. Instead she picked up her copy of the day's script off the coffee table and started flipping through it.

"Thank god! No scenes with just Lea. Only choir room scenes today." Dianna felt a small smile form. At least she wouldn't have to be alone with the girl.

There was a knock at the door. Dianna thought about saying 'come in,' but she was afraid it was Lea. So instead she got up and opened the door herself. It was Jake, the PA.

"Hey pretty lady. Here are your clothes for the day. Hair and makeup is ready for you once you're dressed. Can I get you anything else?" Jake asked.

"No, thanks." Dianna smiled and took the clothes.

"Just let me know, ok?" Jake smiled back and began to close the door but Heather grabbed it before it shut completely.

"Hey, Lady Di." Heather bounded into the trailer. "You know Jake has a crush on you right?"

"What?" Dianna asked, truly shocked. Everyone on set knew she was a lesbian.

"Yeah, he's liked you since he met you. He was so crushed when he found out he wasn't your type. He said we were lying because you hadn't made it public. It was so cute because he was trying to justify that you liked him too." Heather grabbed water out of the fridge and sat down.

"Wow. I didn't know. Wait he doesn't think I'm flirting with him when I'm nice right? Should I be meaner?" Dianna asked, knowing full well how hard it was for her to come across as mean.

"No, he will be fine. Once you're dating Lea, he will get the hint." Heather laughed. Dianna froze.

"Excuse me?" Dianna asked slowly. "What do you mean me and Lea?"

"It was a joke, Di. Because you guys are so close and always so touchy feely. I was kidding." Heather's tone turned a bit more serious.

"Right. Look I have to get changed, and get to hair and makeup. They are waiting on me." Dianna more or less pushed Heather out the door, her heart beating fast again. 'I really need to get this crush under control!'

She quickly changed into her pink dress and white flats she was wearing for the show that day, checked outside her trailer for a sign of Lea and then ran to the hair and make-up trailer. She tore open the door and stopped dead in her tracks. Sitting in one of the chairs was Lea getting her makeup done. Dianna stood frozen to the spot, the girls locking eyes in the mirror. She didn't know what to do. She was about to back out of the door when the hair artist stopped her.

"We are doing simple curls for you today." The lady told her, already preparing the curling iron.

"I'm sorry, I just, um, I forgot something in my trailer. I'll be back." Dianna said softly before turning around and walking out the door.

"Dianna, wait." She heard Lea say but she couldn't face her. She ran off through the lot, tears threatening to fall. She walked and walked and before she knew it, she had reached the on lot cafeteria. It was the same area that got turned into Breadstix when they needed a restaurant scene. It was still early enough for breakfast. She grabbed a banana nut muffin and a plate of scrambled tofu (The staff was nice enough to include vegan items for Lea, Dianna and the few other vegan/vegetarians on the lot). She decided she needed coffee as well to wake her brain up. She sat in the far corner of the restaurant and tried to hide while she ate. She flipped through Tumblr and Twitter on her phone. She was still getting quite a few hate messages as well as a few pride ones. She didn't even care though, her mind couldn't focus.

It only took her 15 minutes to eat. She had tried to drag it out longer but she wasn't able to. She knew she needed to go back to get her hair and makeup done. Ryan would have a fit if she caused the scene to run late. Dianna slowly walked back to the trailer she ran out of. Luckily for her, Lea was nowhere in sight when she walked in.

Of course the ladies in the trailer wanted to know what was going on with her and Lea. They were usually attached at the hip unless one of them was filming. Dianna stayed quiet and when she did talk, she tried to steer the conversation in other directions. It took a full 45 minutes before Dianna was camera ready. She walked onto set and sat down next to the dreadlock kid. She couldn't remember his name at the moment but her character was semi dating him. She didn't have any lines for the moment. It was just going to be a scene of Kurt singing. Dianna was glad for this. It meant she could literally sit there in silence. That's all she wanted.

Take after take she sat there. A few people asked if she was ok. She told them she had a headache. It was all she could do to not go running back to her trailer. She could feel Lea's eyes on her when they cut and were setting up another shot. Dianna refused to look back.

Finally they broke for lunch and Dianna tore out of the soundstage.

"Dianna, talk to me." Lea was yelling after her. "Please."

The blonde kept going and eventually she heard Lea's footsteps stop. She finally made it to her trailer and felt like she could breathe again.

She hadn't even been in there 2 minutes before there was a knock at the door. She forced herself to get up and tore open the door.

"Lea, I don't want to ta-." It wasn't Lea. It was Jake. "Oh, hey Jake, what's up?" Dianna held open the door for him and then sat back down on the couch.

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I saw you run from Lea. Everything ok with you 2?" Jake asked, still standing.

"I really don't want to talk about it." Dianna answered, laying her head back and closing her eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked.

"Sure." She opened her eyes and looked at him once more.

"Do you really like girls?"

"Yeah I do." Dianna answered and she could see Jake's face fall.

"Oh." Was all he said before turning and heading back to the door. Dianna figured he was going to leave but all he did was lock the small lock. "Have you ever had sex with a guy?"

Dianna was feeling weird now. She didn't like being locked in her own trailer with a guy she didn't even know that well. "No, I haven't." She answered honestly.

Jake was moving towards her now. Slowly. "Then how do you know you don't like men?" His voice had changed. Something was wrong.

"I just do. Look Jake, I'm going to go get some food." Dianna tried to stand but Jake pushed her back down.

"I don't think you can know if you like woman only unless you've slept with a man. Maybe you're not a lesbian after all." He stood over her, his legs on either side of hers.

"I-i-I am. I'm sure of it." Dianna tried to get up again but Jake pushed her down once more. Dianna didn't know what to do. She had never been so scared.

"Maybe you just need a man to prove to you that you're not a lesbian." Jake leaned down and placed his lips on hers. She fought him back.

"Jake, stop it," she yelled, fighting harder to get up now.

"Stop moving, you little bitch!" Jake slapped her hard across her face. His tone had completely changed now. This wasn't the man she had been working with for 2 years.

"What do you want from me?" Dianna asked timidly, tears falling.

"Nothing. I want to show you what a real man feels like." He grabbed her by both arms and pushed her down on the couch. She could feel his erection through his pants and she thought she was going to vomit.

"Jake, please stop. Please don't do this." Dianna begged. She didn't know what else to do. He was so much stronger than she was.

Jake pushed up her dress and ripped off her panties. He stood up long enough to remove his own pants and Dianna tried to get away again. This time Jake punched her hard in her eye. "Don't fight me," He growled.

Dianna was so scared. Terrified. She felt like her heart was going to pound right out of her chest. She had never slept with a guy. In fact she had never even used dildos. She knew she was too small for him to fit. She wasn't wet. She didn't know what to do. All she could do was sit there and wait for the pain to come.

"Jake please, no, stop." She could hear herself speaking but to no avail. She looked at him one last time before she felt like she was being ripped apart. She had never felt a pain so bad in her life. She screamed and he punched her one last time before she blacked out.

She didn't know how long she had been out. She woke up off and on and saw flashes of what was going on around her. Lea screaming. A paramedic's face she had never seen before. The inside of an ambulance. Being rushed into a building on a stretcher. Nurses gathered around.

It was more than she could take and she blacked out once more.


	6. Chapter 6

White.

White was all Dianna could see as she opened her eyes. She had to force them to focus. Slowly she could see ceiling tiles. She carefully turned her head to the left and saw a mess of brown hair lying on the bed.

"Lea?" Dianna said, very quietly. It was hard for her to speak. The brunette looked up.

"Oh my god, Dianna. You're ok!" Lea engulfed the blonde into a hug. Pain seared through her.

"Ow." Dianna said.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just so glad you're ok."

"What happened?" Dianna asked. Her head was fuzzy. "Why am I in the hospital?"

"I found you in your trailer passed out on the couch, blood everywhere" Lea answered, tears forming. "Di, you were raped."

Everything all of a sudden came back to her. She remembered the pain. She remembered Jake on top of her. Now she remembered why she was hurting so much. She wanted to vomit.

"Oh." Was all Dianna could say.

"Di, he ripped you pretty badly. The doctors had to stitch you back up down there. They have had you sedated for the past couple days so your body could recover a bit."

"How long have you been here?" Dianna asked. She noticed that Lea was still in her clothes from shooting that day.

"Since you were brought in." Lea answered. "I just couldn't leave you." She paused for a second, clearly choosing her words. "Di, who did this?"

"I, um, don't remember." Dianna answered, not knowing why she was lying. The images from that day were coming back faster now and she was starting to have trouble breathing. She completely broke down.

"You're ok now Di, you're ok. You're safe." Lea tried calming her down.

"Lea, I'm not on birth control." Dianna barely got the words out before breaking down in tears again. What if she was pregnant? She couldn't be a mom.

"Shhh," Lea said, climbing into the hospital bed with the blonde. After a second of getting situated, she wrapped herself around Dianna. "I promise you that it's ok. We will figure it out."

"You should go home." Dianna said.

"No." Lea answered back.

"Why are you even here?" Dianna asked considering they had been fighting for the past few days.

"Because you're my best friend." Lea answered. "Look, I know we fought but we can talk about that later. You need to focus on getting better."

Dianna didn't know what to say. "You need to go home and sleep and eat. I need to be alone anyway."

"No. I told you I'm not leaving you. I can get Naya to go get me some food and clothes. Your bathroom has a shower. I'm fine here. I'm not leaving." Lea said forcefully.

"Lea, please go. You can come back tomorrow but I need to be alone right now. I just, I can't deal with this. Our fight and what happened and the other stuff going on, it's too much for me right now. I just want to sleep."

"Di." Lea started.

"Just go, ok?" Dianna said once more. Lea looked hurt but got out of the bed anyway. "Wait," Dianna started. Lea stopped. "Is Naya here?"

"Yeah, she is, um, in the waiting room I think. I'll go get her for you." Lea said quietly, looking more hurt than Dianna had ever seen her. She quickly grabbed her purse and headed for the door. "I'm really glad you're ok." With that, she was gone.

Moments after Lea left, a nurse came into the room and took Dianna's vitals. The nurse asked a few questions and said a doctor would be in shortly. Then the nurse was gone too. Silence again. Dianna's thoughts started racing once more. She reached over and grabbed a pan before throwing up. There wasn't much in her stomach but she vomited until she was dry heaving nothing at all. Tears were pouring down her face.

"Dianna," Naya's voice rang in her ears. Seconds later, she felt the Latina hold back her short hair.

"I'm ok," Dianna managed to get out. She heaved a few more times and then took a sip of water from the cup that the nurse had brought in. She spilt a little since her hands were shaking so badly. Naya took the pan into the bathroom then came back and sat in the chair Lea had been in not long before.

"How are you?" Naya asked. "I know that's a stupid question considering but you know what I mean."

"I'm not sure, honestly. Confused. Scared. Hurt." Dianna stopped herself before she said 'dirty.'

"I'm so glad you're ok. I was so scared." Naya grabbed one of Dianna's hands.

"I just can't believe…" Dianna trailed off. She didn't want to think about it.

"Lea said you don't remember who it was."

"No." Dianna answered, lying again.

"Ok." Naya said. Silence again. Dianna didn't like silence. She was about to speak but Naya spoke again. "Why did you make Lea leave?"

"She shouldn't be here." Dianna said shortly.

"Yes she should." Naya said firmly.

"I can't deal with her right now." Dianna said.

"There isn't anything to 'deal' with right now. She is your best friend. Fight or no fight." Naya answered back.

"You know I'm not talking about the fighting part." Dianna said quietly.

"I know, but you being in love with her isn't her fault. I understand that you've gone through something unspeakably horrible, but it isn't fair on her for you to make her leave. She doesn't know you love her."

"I know." Dianna said.

"Dianna she was the one who found you. You were unconscious on the floor of your trailer. There was blood everywhere. I've never seen Lea so scared and upset. She refused to leave you. She hasn't left your side since she found you. That counts for something, Dianna. You've been through absolute hell the past couple of days, but so has she. Imagine if it was her that you found. I'm not saying you have to let her come back, but you should consider it." Naya finished.

"I know." Dianna said. "I know you're right. I just, I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling. I want Lea here. I want to be in her arms and I want her to tell me it's all going to be ok but I feel wrong."

"Wrong in what sense?" Naya asked.

Dianna was quiet for a moment. "I don't know." Dianna didn't know how to tell her friend that she felt dirty and tainted. She didn't know how to form the words that she didn't feel worthy of Lea anymore. "I'm tired."

"Get some sleep. I'll be in the waiting room if you need me." Naya squeezed her hand.

"Go home, Naya. Get some real rest. Take a shower and eat some real food. I'll call you when I wake up."

"Ok. If you're sure. Here is my number. We aren't entirely sure where your cell phone is at the moment but you should be able to call me from your room phone." Naya quickly scribbled her number on the message pad on the nightstand.

"Thanks for being here." Dianna said. She felt her eyelids getting heavy once again.

"Of course. Sweet dreams." Naya took one last look at the blonde before walking out the door.

Dianna knew sweet dreams were out of the question but she needed sleep. She tried to think of happy thoughts and slowly but surely fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

"Lea's still here." Naya said as she entered Dianna's hospital room. The blonde had called her about an hour before when she had woken up.

"What?" Dianna answered a little off guard.

"She hasn't left since you told her to leave. She is down there on her iPad sending emails to the producers and everyone else she has to deal with on a daily basis." Naya sat down in the chair. She passed a bag over to her friend.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Dianna pulled out the veggie burger and sweet potato fries from her favorite fast food place. "Why is she still here?"

"You know why." Naya took out her own burger and fries.

"So I saw that Ryan told the press that I was in the hospital for a concussion after being hit with a light on set." Dianna said changing the subject.

"Yeah. He didn't think it was anyone's business but yours. Most people on set don't know either. It's been kept pretty quiet apparently." Naya took a bite of her burger.

The girls were quiet for a few minutes, both eating away. Dianna spoke first.

"I need to talk to her, don't I?"

"You don't even have to talk to her, but you need to let her come sit up here with you. She needs to know that you're ok. She knows that you're physically ok but she needs to know that you're more than that. Do you get what I mean?" Naya asked.

"Yeah." Dianna went quiet again. She didn't like the quiet. Images from that day were beginning to show themselves again. She could see Jake coming after her. She could remember how terrified she was. She could feel him ripping her apart. She shifted her legs and pain seared through her where the stitches were.

"Di?" Naya said, grabbing her hand. She sounded far away. "Come back to me. Focus on me."

Slowly Dianna could feel herself coming back to the hospital room.

"Sorry," was all the blonde could say.

"It's ok. Do you want to talk about it?" Naya asked tentatively.

"No."Dianna answered quickly. She didn't want to talk to anyone about it. She didn't even want to report it to the police. She just wanted it to all go away.

Naya stood up and started collecting their trash. "Well if you decide you want to, you know I'm here."

"I know. Thanks." She paused before continuing. "Do you think you could go get Lea for me? We need to talk. Might as well get it over with while I can't run away from her, I guess."

"Sure. She will be here in a minute. I'll be in the waiting room when you need me." Naya said before disappearing out the door leaving Dianna alone with her thoughts once again.

The blondes mind began to go back to that day. She could see Jake once again. She couldn't help think about how nice he had always been. Her brain was about to begin the what-if game when the room door opened once again. In walked Lea, still in the same outfit she had been in for days. She looked exhausted, no makeup to be seen. She stopped just inside the door and gave the tiniest of waves.

"You can come in more if you want. You don't have to stand by the door." Dianna told the brunette.

Lea slowly walked the rest of the way into the room and sat down in the chair next to the bed. She kept her eyes looking down at her hands.

"Look at me." Dianna said quietly. Lea looked up. "We are not going to talk about what happened to me. Do you understand? We can talk about us and the fight we had and all of that, but not what happened."

"Ok." Lea said quietly. Dianna knew she had surprised her tiny friend by being so forceful when she was usually so happy go lucky.

"Thank you for finding me and staying with me until I woke up. I'm really sorry for kicking you out. I just couldn't deal." Dianna said.

"I was so scared, Di." Lea said, her eyes watering up.

"I can imagine." Dianna answered back. "Why did you come into my trailer anyway? Pretty sure you hated me at that point."

"I never hated you and you know that. I just was tired of fighting with you. You're my best friend. We talk every single day. I honestly just couldn't deal with you not talking to me." Lea told her.

"You were the one who kicked me out of your house." Dianna protested.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just couldn't deal with talking about all that stuff." Lea said quietly.

"Why? Why is it so hard for you to talk about this? We are supposed to be best friends and I was the other one in that room that night at Heather's. Don't you think that I'm just as confused about it as you are?" Dianna said back, hoping that maybe she could get the woman she loved to admit her feelings too.

"How can you be confused? You're a lesbian. You came out of the closet a long time ago." Lea said back.

"You don't think it's confusing to know that something happened with your best friend? Lesbian or no it's confusing, Lea." Dianna argued.

"I guess." Lea answered. "I just don't want to think about it all. If it happened, fine, but I don't want to dwell on it. It's over and done with. We aren't together and can move on from that night. The end."

Dianna felt like she had just been stabbed in the heart. Lea had basically just admitted that she didn't want to be with the blonde. "Fine, Lea. I won't bring it up again."

"Good." Lea sniped back.

The room went quiet. Neither girl seemed to know what to say next. Luckily the nurse decided to come in at that moment.

"How are you feeling Miss Agron?" She asked.

"I'm ok. Sore, but ok." Dianna answered.

"Good. Well the doctor said you can go home tomorrow. You'll need to come back in about a week to have your stitches removed." The nurse said as she puttered around checking Dianna's vitals.

"Great, thanks." Dianna forced a small smile. She was afraid to go home and be alone but she knew she couldn't exactly stay in the hospital forever. "Um, am I allowed to take a shower?"

"Yes, just be careful of your IV. When you are ready, just let me know and we will get you all unhooked. You'll just take the IV bag in with you and place it on the hook right outside the shower." The nurse was writing on Dianna's chart now.

"Ok." Dianna desperately needed a shower. She felt so dirty. Violated. She needed to get clean.

"There is one more thing that needs to be discussed and then I will leave you girls alone. Are you planning on reporting the rape?" The nurse asked. "Normally the police would've been called when you were brought in but because of your celebrity status, the hospital handles things a little differently. We did however perform a rape kit on you. So now we just need to know if you would like us to turn that over to the police."

"Does the rape kit have an expiration?" Dianna asked.

"No. All the tests and reports have been run and filed. The only person who has seen your name connected to it, was the person who took all the evidence, did the tests and filed it. So your amenity is safe."

"Ok." Dianna said.

"So are you going to file a report to the police?" The nurse asked.

"Of course she is." Lea said before Dianna had a chance to answer.

"Wait." Dianna said. "I don't know if I'm going to report it."

"What?" Lea exclaimed. "Yes, you are. That bastard needs to be in jail!" Lea was on her feet now.

"I'll leave you two to talk about it. Just let me know." The nurse left the room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lea all but yelled. "Why wouldn't you report it?"

"I don't know. I just want it to all go away. I don't want it to get all over the media and have to go to court and all that. I just want it over with." Dianna said back.

"Dianna, you have to report it. They need to find the guy and lock him away. What if he does this to someone else? Can you really handle that being on your conscience?" Lea sat back down but her face was still firm.

"I know, I just, I honestly don't know if I can deal with it. I'm sorry." Dianna felt nothing but shame and embarrassment.

"Fine, Dianna, but I'm not letting this go. I'll give you a couple more days to think about it but I'm not giving this up." Lea said forcefully.

"Lea, I'm the one who is lying in a hospital bed because I was…well you know," Dianna couldn't bring herself to say the word, "It's my decision. I'm not saying I'm not going to report it, but as of right now, I don't want to. You have to respect that."

"Whatever, Di." Lea said back. She was clearly upset.

The room went quiet again. The tension in the air was incredible.

"So, are you going to go back to your place when you're released?" Lea asked.

"Yeah I guess so." Dianna answered quietly.

"You shouldn't be alone." Lea said.

"I don't really have much of a choice. I mean I guess I could ask Naya if I could stay with her." Dianna answered. She really didn't want to be alone but she also didn't want to be a burden.

"Or you could stay with me." Lea said.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Dianna really wasn't sure she could handle being back under the same roof with the woman she loved.

"Why not?" Lea asked.

"Well, because, um, Ryan won't allow it. You know they banned us from living together after all the rumors began about us dating." Dianna answered quickly, making up a reason.

"I'll deal with him. After what you've been through, I don't think he will care." Lea said.

"Ok, Lea. Thanks." Dianna said. She was too tired to argue and she honestly didn't want to go back to her apartment. "Lea, who has been taking care of Arthur?"

"Heather. He is at her place. She is even letting him sleep in bed with her." Lea smiled.

"Aww that sounds so cute." Dianna was glad that her baby was with someone she trusted.

"Yeah. She has dropped by a couple times but you were still out of it. I think she brought you those flowers." Lea pointed to a bouquet of yellow and orange flowers on the windowsill.

"They are beautiful. Will you tell her thanks for me?" Dianna asked.

"Of course." Lea smiled. "So what do you want to do? Want to see what's on tv?"

"You should go home Lea, get some sleep, take a shower." Dianna said.

"You want me to go? I thought we were ok." Lea's smile turned into a frown instantly.

"We are ok, Lea," Dianna said only half telling the truth. She was still in love with the woman next to her and that was not ok. "I'm going to take a shower and then probably get some sleep."

"I should help you with the shower. I'm sure you're in a lot of pain from the stitches and such." Lea offered.

"That's ok, the nurse is going to help me. Besides, you don't think it would be a little weird for me to be naked while you helped me into the shower?" Dianna asked, curious as to what the response would be.

"Dianna, I've seen you naked. We've changed in front of each other a million times. Not to mention that we used to walk around the apartment in our towels after showers. It doesn't really bother me." Lea answered.

"I see." Dianna said. It wasn't really the answer she was hoping for. "I guess if you really want you can stay and help but after my shower, you are going home. Deal?"

"Deal." Lea grinned.

"No hanging out in the waiting room on your iPad. I will get Naya to spy if I have to." Dianna grinned back.

"See now that's the Di I know and love!" Lea stood up and collapsed onto the blonde in a hug. It hurt, but Dianna didn't care.

"So I guess I should page the nurse then so I can take a shower." Dianna said. Lea sat back down and took Dianna's hand in her own. It felt so natural. The blonde used the other hand to push the nurse call button. Moments later, the nurse came in.

"Have you decided about the police?" She asked.

"I'm not going to report it for now but I would appreciate if you guys could hold onto the rape kit for a couple of days while I decide." Dianna said.

"Of course." The nurse answered back.

"I'm ready to take a shower now. I'm not sure what all needs to be unplugged." Dianna looked at all the wires connected to her and laughed.

"Not a problem." The nurse said as she began unplugging the skinny blonde. "Is your girlfriend going to help you into the shower or do you need me to?"

"Oh, she's not my girlfriend." Dianna answered quickly.

"Just friends." Lea said at the same time.

The girls looked at each other. There was something in Lea's eyes that Dianna couldn't place. It wasn't embarrassment but she couldn't quite figure it out.

"Um, but no, I don't need any help. Lea is going to help me." Dianna said. "Thank you though. I will let you know when I'm done so you can hook up all these beeping machines again."

"Sounds good, Ms. Agron." The nurse smiled as she unhooked the last wire. "You're all set. Just hang the IV on the hook in the bathroom. Just be careful but it's taped onto you pretty well so it shouldn't go anywhere. There should be some shampoo in the gift shop. I'm sorry we don't have any already in here. Enjoy." The nurse finished before walking out of the room.

"How about you go into the bathroom, get undressed and I'll run downstairs and get you some shampoo and body wash." Lea stood up. "I won't be gone long."

"Ok. Thanks." Dianna said as Lea left the room.

The blonde slowly sat up before slowly climbing out of bed. It felt good to stand but it was hurting where her stitches were. She turned around and grabbed the IV bag off the pole that was holding it and carefully walked into the bathroom. It was the first time she had walked in a few days and her legs felt wobbly. She placed the IV bag on the hook near the shower before untying her hospital gown and letting it fall to the floor. She looked at herself in the mirror for the first time since the attack. Her eye was swollen and she had a bruise across her cheek. She could see a faint bruise on her rib cage and when she turned around, she could see a few bruises on her back. Tears began to well up her in eyes but she refused to cry. She grabbed a towel that hung on the rack and put it around her. She didn't want to see the bruises anymore.

"I'm back Dianna," Lea called as she walked back into the hospital room. A moment later she walked into the bathroom. "You doing ok? I see you made it in here alright."

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad." Dianna said back.

"You ready?" Lea asked.

Dianna nodded before dropping the towel on the floor. She was beyond embarrassed but the brunette didn't seem fazed. Lea turned on the water, checking the temperature before taking Dianna's hand into her own and guided her over to the shower. Carefully Dianna stepped in. Pain seared through her at the movement of her legs.

"Are you ok?" Lea asked.

"Yeah, "Dianna answered before pulling the shower curtain closed.

"Ok. I'll be right in the other room. Holler at me if you need me. Here's the shampoo and body wash I bought for you." Lea handed over the bottles and then she was gone.

Dianna stood there for a moment, allowing the warm water to wash over it. It felt nice but she didn't like being alone like this. She was completely exposed and the only thing protecting her was a door on the bathroom and her best friend in the other room. Anything could happen. She didn't like it. She could feel her heart rate speeding up as she began to panic. She could feel herself sitting down on the shower floor, her breathing heavy.

She couldn't stop her mind as it took her back to that day. Jake telling her that she couldn't be a lesbian because she had never had sex with a man. Him hitting her and shoving her down onto the couch. The fear that took over her body. She could hear herself begging with him to stop. She could hear herself saying no. Then she felt the ripping once more and her mind took her back to when he entered her.

"Dianna!" Lea came crashing into the bathroom, ripping the shower curtain back. "Di, talk to me."

Dianna could hear her friend's voice but it sounded so far away. All she could see was Jake's face.

Lea climbed in after the blonde, grabbing her by the face and shaking her back to the present. "Dianna, honey, focus on me. Dianna."

The blonde's eyes began to focus once more and she could see a soaking wet, Lea in front of her.

"Lea?" The blonde asked.

"I'm here, Dianna. I'm right here. Are you ok? You were screaming." Lea asked.

All Dianna could do was nod. She was trying to get her breathing under control. She was quiet for a moment. "How long have I been in here?"

"About 20 minutes. Are you ok?" Lea asked again.

"Yeah, it's nothing. I, um, I need to get clean." Dianna answered, trying to make herself stand. Lea took her hand and helped her up.

"Are you sure you don't just want to get out? You should get back into bed." Lea's face was full of concern.

"No, I need to get clean." Dianna answered firmly.

"Ok, well I'm going to sit on the toilet seat while you do, ok? I'm not going to leave you alone again." Lea said. She climbed out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry herself off.

Dianna could hear herself agreeing to the brunette although it wasn't what she really wanted. She wanted to be able to spend the time to get thoroughly cleaned. She knew that was going to have to wait. The blonde quickly washed her short hair and moved onto her body. She took extra care around her stitches, even though that was the place she needed cleaned the most. She washed the rest of her body twice and turned the water off. Lea stuck a towel into the shower and Dianna dried off. She stepped out of the shower, while holding Lea's hand for balance, and changed back into her hospital gown. Everything was spinning. She didn't feel right. Nothing about her felt like it should.

Lea led her back to her bed and helped her climb back in. Dianna vaguely remembered Lea pushing the nurse call button to hook her wires back up. Once Dianna's head hit the pillow, she was gone back into the nightmares.


	8. Chapter 8

"Finally." Dianna said as Lea pushed her out the hospital doors. Protocol stated that she had to leave the building in a wheelchair.

Lea pushed her all the way to the car before she allowed Dianna could get up. She helped the blonde into the car; much to Dianna's dismay and insisting she could do it herself.

The car ride home was filled mostly with idle chit chat about what had been happening on set. Apparently Mark and Cory had been fighting over their salaries with Ryan, Naya and Heather had gotten caught making out again in one of the bedroom sets, and a handful of extras had to be escorted off the set after they were caught taking pictures of the cast without permission.

Once they had finally arrived at Lea's, the brunette once again went into overly helpful mode.

"Lea, I can walk. I promise. It's a little sore but I can walk." Dianna said as kindly as she possibly could. She was beginning to feel a little smothered even though she knew Lea was just trying to help.

"I'm sorry," Lea apologized.

The girls walked to the front door, paused for a moment while Lea unlocked it and then walked inside. The girls were instantly greeted by the meows of their 2 cats. They said hello to them and walked down the hall to the guest room. Dianna opened the door and was shocked to see a few of her suitcases by the closet door.

"You packed my bags?" Dianna asked, eyebrow arched.

"No. Naya did a couple days ago. We kinda assumed you would be staying with me once you got out." Lea answered.

"Oh. " Dianna said. She wasn't sure why she felt weirded out by the situation. Everything seemed so wrong in her head ever since she had been raped.

"Dianna?" Lea asked, gently grabbing her arm.

"Huh?" The blonde asked.

"You were spacing out. Are you ok? I mean, considering?" Lea asked.

"I think so. Maybe. I'm not really sure. Tired I think." Dianna answered.

"Have you been having nightmares?"

"Yeah." Dianna said, almost silently. She sat down on the bed, head down.

"Do you want to sleep in my room with me tonight? You might feel safer." Lea asked, sitting down next to Dianna, gently stroking her hair.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry." Dianna answered.

"Why not? We used to sleep in the same bed all the time." Lea reminded her.

"I know, but things have changed."

"What's changed, Di? I know we fought but we're still best friends. Aren't we? Have I done something wrong?" Lea asked.

"No, Lea. You're perfect." Dianna looked Lea in the eyes.

"I'm not and you know that, but thanks." Lea blushed.

"You are, Lea." Dianna said quietly.

The girls sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Um, I think I'm going to take a nap if that's ok. I feel exhausted. I don't know how though. I've done nothing but sleep for the past week." Dianna stood up and went over to her suitcases.

"Your body went through a lot, sweetie. You're still recovering." Lea answered.

Dianna found an old pair of her dance shorts and a tank top. She quickly changed. She didn't even bother leaving the room. She was afraid if she changed by herself, she would do something bad to herself. Lea turned down the bed while Dianna was changing. The blonde smiled in appreciation and climbed into the bed.

"I'll wake you up in a couple of hours, ok?" Lea asked.

"Yeah sounds good. Maybe later we can go talk to Ryan about work. He must be really mad at me for missing so much work." Dianna said, exhaustion already hitting her body.

"Ignore him. We can go talk to him if that's what you want. Sweet dreams, Dianna. I'll just be in the other room if you need me, ok." Lea leaned down and kissed Dianna on the forehead before turning the lights off and leaving the room.

Dianna fell asleep almost instantly. She alternated between nightmares and dreamless sleep. Before she knew it, Lea was waking her up again. After forcing herself out of bed, Dianna got dressed and the girls headed to Paramount Studios to talk to their boss.

"Are you ready?" Lea asked Dianna.

"Yeah. It's just Ryan." Dianna answered back.

Lea nods back and knocks on the door.

"Come in." Ryan says from the other side. The girls walk in, Lea ahead of Dianna.

"Hey girls." Ryan smiles. Dianna had never learned to trust that smile. "How are you feeling, Dianna? Did the hospital fix you up? Are you ready to start working again?"

Dianna was taken aback at how nonchalant he was about the whole thing. "Yeah, I guess."

"Good. We still have the Spanish Room scene for you and Naya to shoot. I'll find a way to squeeze that in for tomorrow. Be here at 7am."

"Right." Was all that Dianna could say. She didn't know what was going on or why Ryan was treated her like she had been out with a cold.

"Wait." Lea said. "This is ridiculous. She can't come back to work tomorrow. She needs more time."

"Lea, it's ok." Dianna said. It really wasn't but she didn't want to upset Ryan.

"Ok, how about the day after tomorrow? Is that enough time for you to recover?"

"No!" Lea exclaimed.

"Lea, stop."

"No, he's being a dumbass." Lea said to Dianna. She then turned to Ryan. "You're being a dumbass and a jackass. Actually you're just an ass."

"Lea." Dianna warned but her words fell on deaf ears.

"She was raped. Do you fucking understand that? Someone on this set went into her trailer and forced her to have sex!"

"Lea Michele Sarfati!" Dianna exclaimed. That got the brunette's attention. The blonde had only used Lea's full name one other time.

"Stop. Please."

There was a minute of silence before Ryan spoke again. "Dianna is stayin with you?" He asked Lea. The brunette nodded. "Make sure she doesn't stay there too long. I don't want the rumors starting again, especially since Dianna felt she needed to come out to the world." Ryan sounded annoyed. That sent Lea off again.

"Excuse me? What she did was brave and amazing. I understand that lesbians don't have a lot of respect from you because they aren't men, but what she did was amazing. And furthermore, she will stay with me until she is ready to live alone again. She is scared. How do you. Not understand what happened to her?" Lea was practically yelling now. Dianna couldn't handle it anymore and walked out of the office.

"Shit." She heard Lea say. "This isn't over, Ryan."

Next thing Dianna knew, Lea was grabbing her arm.

"Di, stop please. I'm sorry ok." Lea begged.

Dianna turned and faced her. The sorry in her chocolate eyes was almost too much to take. "It's ok, Lea."

"It's not. I didn't mean to get so caught up in there. I just love you so much and I don't want you to be treated badly." Lea was staring into Dianna's eyes. The girls were only about 6 inches from each other.

"It's ok. I promise." Dianna said. It was almost a whisper.

Dianna was seeing something new in Lea's eyes. Was us love? Lust? Or Dianna's imagination? No, it wasn't her imagination. The girls were moving closer together. "Oh my god," Dianna thought. "We're going to kiss."

The girls lips were only an inch away now. The tension was so high.

"Dianna!" Ryan's voice bellowed down the hall.

"Damn." Dianna muttered.

"What?" Lea asked.

"Huh? Oh nothing." Dianna answered, cheeks reddening by the second.

"Dianna." Ryan said again.

"Yeah?" She answered not really caring what he had to say.

"I'll give you another week off. But after that we have to get back to work." Ryan said and walked off.

"Yeah, ok." Dianna said back. She was barely paying attention. All she could think about what how close Lea's lips had been.

"Hey Dianna!" Naya spotted Dianna and ran over to her. She engulfed her in a hug. "Look whose wearing actual clothes."

"Yeah, I figured I couldn't stay in that hospital gown forever." Dianna smiled.

"Hey, Naya, do you mind staying with Dianna for a few minutes? I need to run to my trailer before we leave." Lea asked.

"I don't need a babysitter." Dianna said, annoyed.

"Ignore her. Yes, I will hang out with her for a few minutes." Naya said to Lea.

Dianna watched Lea disappeared before speaking again. "So I have 2 things to talk to you about."

"Ok, shoot." Naya said as the girls headed towards the craft services table.

"First off, I heard you got caught making out with HeMo again." Dianna arched her eyebrow.

"Your point being?" Naya asked, grabbing a turkey sandwich off the table.

"My point being this: When are you going to stop messing around like this and actually be together? You 2 have been tip toeing around being together for 4 years now. You like each other. In fact, you probably love each other. You girls have been caught so many times making out on set that no one is even surprised by it anymore. Why don't you girls actually start a relationship?" Dianna finished. She piled fruit and vegetables on her plate.

"I don't want to end up hurt, ok? This works with us. No strings and all that."

"Ok, Naya. I think you guys would be great together but I'm not going to make you talk about this anymore. For now anyway." Dianna decided to drop the subject. She didn't want to push until Naya was angry with her.

"So what was the second thing?" Naya asked.

"Lea and I almost kissed." Dianna admitted.

"What?! Way to bury the lead. When was this?" Naya exclaimed.

"Not long before you walked up. Ryan interrupted us. I think if he hadn't, we would've kissed." Dianna said, her cheeks turning red.

"I can't believe you almost kissed." Naya said.

"Me either. I want it to happen but I don't know if I'm ready for that. After everything that has happened this past week, I just don't know if I can do this." Dianna ranted.

"Dianna, breathe." Naya pulled the blonde into a hug. "Now listen to me. If you're not ready, then you're not ready. However, if something does happen, take it from there. Don't put so much pressure on yourself."

"I know you're right." Dianna defeated. It was hard for her to calm her thoughts down sometimes.

"Why is Naya right?" Lea asked. She showed up out of nowhere.

"Oh, nothing. Ready to go home?" Dianna asked, hoping that changing the subject would keep Lea from asking questions.

"Yeah." Lea said slowly, looking from Dianna to Naya then back again.

"Great, let's go. Bye Naya." Dianna said quickly. She was ready to go. If she wasn't around Naya, her being in love with Lea didn't exist.

"Have fun girls." Naya said in a seductive tone.

"Shut up, Naya. Bye!" Dianna answered, wanting to rip off the Latina's head.

"I'm so confused." Lea said as the girls made their way out the stage doors and to their car.

"It's not important."

"Right." Lea answered.

Dianna didn't say anything else until they got home. She wasn't sure what to say. Lea was her best friend and the person she was in love with. In the past 2 weeks, her life had become a mess and she had no idea how to even begin to fix it.


	9. Chapter 9

Lea pulled into the driveway and put the car in park. They had gone the entire ride home without even a word. Quinn felt awkward. They had almost kissed. The blonde's brain wouldn't shut up. "Does Lea like me? We almost kissed. Our lips were so close. Was Lea just caught up in the moment?"

"Dianna." Lea's voice broke her thoughts.

"Huh, yeah?" Dianna answered. She looked over to the driver's side of the car.

"We're home." Lea said. "You've been sitting there spaced out for like 3 minutes. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, fine." Dianna opened the car door and made her way up to the front porch. She waited a moment before Lea followed and unlocked the door. Dianna walked inside and immediately headed to the kitchen to get a drink. She had cottonmouth.

"Di, can I ask you something?" Lea asked. She had followed the blonde.

Dianna's heart started to pound. "Yeah."

"Are you and Naya dating?" Lea asked. She had leaned against the counters on the opposite side of the kitchen.

Dianna almost spit out her water. "Excuse me? Why on earth would you think that?"

"When I went to my trailer earlier, I was looking on my phone at Perez and there was a picture of you guys coming out of a restaurant. Naya's arm was around you waist. The caption said you guys were dating. I know not to listen to those kind of sites but you guys have been really chummy lately." Lea finished.

"So what if we are dating?" Dianna didn't even know why she said that. She watched Lea's face fall. "Why do you care?"

"I don't." Lea answered quickly. "I mean, you're my friend and Naya is my friend and I'm just surprised you didn't tell me."

Dianna studied Lea's face for a moment before speaking again. "We aren't dating. She was just protecting me from the paparazzi that day. There was a rude waitress that was mean to me. Naya was just taking care of me. We are just friends."

Lea's face lit up again. "Good."

"Lea, can I ask you something?" Dianna needed to know about the almost kiss.

"Sure."

"Did Ryan interrupt something? Between us I mean. In the hallway." Dianna was speaking in short sentences. Her heart was pounding but she needed to know.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe." Lea answered.

Dianna was shocked. She decided to push a little further. "Is that something you want? To kiss me, I mean?"

"I don't know." Lea answered quietly.

"Lea, are you attracted to girls at all?" Dianna asked. She wasn't sure if anyone had ever actually asked her that question before.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Lea immediately shut down and walked out of the room.

"Damn." Dianna muttered to herself. She knew better than to chase down her friend. That's what led to their fight the week prior. She decided to go to her room instead. She passed Lea's door on the way. She stopped and listened. Silence. Dianna was relieved that she couldn't hear crying but she felt bad for once again pushing her friend too far.

She continued to her room and decided to take a shower. She quickly undressed and headed into the bathroom. She turned on the water and waited for it to warm up before stepping in. She quickly washed her hair with the shampoo that Lea kept in the spare bathroom. She put some body wash onto a lufah and began to clean her body. She was trying her hardest to keep her mind off of the rape. It wasn't easy though. She washed herself 4 times before she realized what she was doing. She hated that she felt dirty even though she was clearly clean. She stood under the water for a little bit longer before deciding she should get out.

She wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the shower. She grabbed another towel and used it to dry her hair. She hung that towel up and headed back out to the bedroom to get dressed. She quickly dug through her suitcase and found a pair of jeans and a simple tank top. She put them on, did her makeup and fixed her hair. She looked at the time on her phone. It had been an hour and a half since Lea had locked herself in her bedroom. Dianna was concerned so she decided to check and see if the brunette had come out yet.

Dianna left the bedroom and walked into the living room. No Lea. She walked back to her friend's room, paused and then knocked.

"What?" Lea asked.

"I was just checking on you." Dianna said.

"I'm fine." Lea answered.

"Ok. Well I'm going to watch a movie in the living room if you want to join me." Dianna waited a moment to see if Lea would say anything else. Silence. The blonde let out a sigh and walked back into the living room. She quickly put in The Notebook and collapsed onto the couch.

She was only 20 minutes into the movie when Lea appeared. Dianna paused the movie. "Are you ok?" She asked.

"I'm fine." Lea answered. She sat down on the other couch.

"You're lying." Dianna said.

"I know." Lea responded.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push, I just want you to be happy. I want you to be honest with yourself." Dianna said.

"It's not something that's easy for me to talk about, ok?" Lea shot back.

"Lea, it's just me. Do you really think I'm going to judge you for anything you tell me?" Dianna asked.

"No." Lea was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "I am, Dianna."

"You are what?" Dianna asked.

"Attracted to girls." Lea said. She looked down, clearly ashamed.

"It's ok, you know? It doesn't change who you are." Dianna said.

"I know, it's just…I don't know. Today in the hallway, our lips were so close and I was thinking about how I wanted to kiss you and I couldn't because I can't be into girls." Lea said quietly.

"You…you wanted to kiss me?" Dianna stuttered.

"Yeah I did." Lea looked up and met Dianna's eyes.

"I didn't think you looked at me that way." Dianna said. She got up and sat down on the couch Lea was on.

"How can I not? You're beautiful." Lea said.

"So are you." Dianna said back.

The girls went quiet. Dianna didn't know what else to say. Her brain was trying to process the information she had just received.

"I still want to, Di." Lea said quietly.

"Want to what?" Dianna asked.

"Kiss you." Lea answered.

"Then kiss me." Dianna managed to get out. She felt like she couldn't breathe.

Lea slowly leaned closer to Dianna. Her lips inching closer to the blondes. Dianna took a breath and began to lean in as well. They paused a second before their lips met. Neither seeming to be able to close the gap. Finally Lea leaned in the last few millimeters and their lips pressed together. Dianna pressed a little harder. She couldn't believe she was kissing Lea. She ran her hands through the brunettes hair, pulling her into her further. She didn't dare use her tongue, she just enjoyed Lea's lips being on hers.

As quickly as it started, the kiss was over. Lea pulled back and touched her fingers to her lips. "Wow." Lea said.

"Yeah." Was all Dianna could say back. She could still feel Lea's lips on her own. Her lips were so soft. Dianna wanted nothing more than to be kissing her again but she didn't want to push.

"That was nice." Lea said shyly.

"It was." Dianna said back.

"Do you want to do it again?" Lea asked.

Dianna nodded.

"Good." Lea said and she crashed her lips into Dianna's once again. The kiss was more urgent this time. There was more need between the girls. Dianna pulled Lea down on top of her as she laid down onto her back. Dianna gently ran her tongue along Lea's bottom lip and Lea opened her mouth and allowed her entrance. The blonde's hands were moving up and down Lea's back as their tongues began to duel. There wasn't a need for dominance; they were just getting to know each other.

Dianna was enjoying the feel of Lea on top of her. Lea pressed into her harder and all of a sudden, Dianna was having flashbacks. She could feel Jake on top of her. She quickly pushed at Lea to get off of her.

"Stop, wait stop." Was all Dianna could say.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Lea panicked. She quickly climbed off the blonde.

"Flashbacks. I saw him. Jake was on top of me. You were gone." Dianna said. She was just talking and not paying attention to what she had just said.

"Jake? As in the PA Jake? That's who raped you?" Lea asked, demanded even.

"Fuck." Was all Dianna could said. She was completely back in the apartment now and what she had just said registered.

"Why didn't you tell us, Dianna? He needs to go to jail." Lea said.

"Can we not do this right now, Lea? Please? I'm sorry I ruined our moment. This is a good thing though. I don't want it tainted by thinking about him." Dianna was practically begging.

"Di, we have to tell someone. This is a good moment but it's not more important than that bastard going to prison." Lea said.

"No, Lea. Just no." Dianna said. She got up and headed towards her bedroom.

"Don't walk away from me, Dianna. We had to talk about this." Lea followed her.

"NO!" Dianna yelled.

"Why not? Why don't you want to see this ass punished?" Lea demanded.

"I have my reasons." Dianna snapped back.

"Then tell me." Lea said.

"Maybe I deserved it, ok?" Dianna turned around and faced Lea. "I was always so nice to him, even when I knew he liked me. He thought I was flirting with him. I'm not sending someone to jail just because I led them on."

"What? Dianna no. You didn't deserve that. No girl EVER deserves that. It doesn't matter how nice you are or even if you flirt, it doesn't matter. You didn't deserve to be beaten up and forced to have sex." Lea said. Dianna wasn't convinced.

"I had to have done something, Lea. Why me? Why did he rape me? I had to have done something wrong." Dianna said down on her bed, allowing tears to fall.

Lea sat down next to her, rubbing her hand up and down the blonde's back. "I don't know why you, Di, but I do know you didn't do anything wrong. Nothing. You're one of the nicest, sweetest people I know. You didn't deserve what he did to you."

All Dianna could do was nod. She had been keeping in the thoughts for the past few days and she couldn't believe she had actually told Lea was she had been thinking.

"Why don't we get The Notebook and put it in the DVD player in my room? Then we can cuddle up in my bed. We don't have to do anything at all. I'll keep you safe." Lea said, gently pushing the hair out of Dianna's eyes.

"Ok. Sounds good." Dianna managed to get out.

Lea stood up and extended out her hand. Dianna took it and allowed herself to be lead into Lea's bedroom. She climbed into the bed while Lea went and got the movie out of the living room. Lea quickly put it in and climbed into the bed as well. Dianna laid her head on the brunette's chest and tried to let herself relax. It had been a long confusing day. She was exhausted and laying there with Lea was all she wanted to do at that moment in time.


	10. Chapter 10

Dianna awoke suddenly. She looked around with sleep filled eyes and noticed that the TV was turned off. The entire room was pitch black. She felt around and realized that Lea wasn't there. The blonde was confused and got out of bed to go and find the other woman. She stubbed her toe on the edge of the bed and cursed herself for being so groggy.

Dianna opened the bedroom door and looked down the dark hallway for any sign of light. Nothing. She headed towards the living room and once she got there, she noticed that the porch light was on. She grabbed a blanket off the couch, wrapped it around her shoulders and walked out the back door. Even though it was almost summer time, LA nights were still a bit chilly. The slight chill in the air hit her as she walked out the door.

"Lea?" Dianna asked. She saw the tiny brunette at the edge of the patio, looking up at the stars. She jumped when she heard Dianna's voice. She quickly spun around. "Are you ok? What are you doing out here?"

Lea returned her gaze upward. "I'm looking at the stars."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we live in LA, you can't see the stars here." Dianna walked over to where Lea was standing and looked up to.

"Yeah I know. You can't see them in New York either. I was just hoping maybe I could see something. No luck though." Lea tore her gaze from the sky and looked at Dianna. She started rubbing her arms, clearly trying to get warm.

"Here." Dianna said, handing over the blanket to her friend. Lea tried to refuse it but Dianna made her take it anyway.

"Thanks," Lea said quietly. She stood there for a second before sitting down on a chair that was against the house. Dianna waited a moment before joining her in the chair next to her.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" Dianna asked.

"What do you mean?" Lea asked back.

"You're standing outside in the middle of the night looking for non-existent stars. That's not exactly normal Lea behavior."

"I couldn't sleep. I'm fine. Really." Lea tucked her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them.

"Lea." Dianna said. The brunette just looked at her, tears beginning to form. "Sweetheart, please talk to me. Does this have something to do with what happened with us? The kissing?"

"No." Lea answered quickly. Dianna just looked at her. "Maybe." Lea admitted.

"Ok, what's going on in your head? Did you not enjoy it?" Dianna asked, afraid of the answer.

"Of course I enjoyed it, Di. I was kissing you. How could I not enjoy it? I can't be into you though. I can't be into any girls." Lea said, a single tear rolled down her face. She made no move to wipe it away.

"You can't help who you're attracted to, Lea. Whether that's me or not, if you're attracted to girls, then it kind of is what it is. Can I ask you something?" Dianna asked. Lea nodded. "Are you afraid of liking girls because it scares you or because you're afraid of what people will think?"

"I'm not sure honestly. A little bit of both, I guess."

"Ok well let's start with the part of it that scares you." Dianna started. "What exactly is it that scares you?"

"It's not how my life is supposed to be. I'm supposed to marry a man, have kids, be normal."

"Lea, just because you like girls, doesn't make you any less normal. It's a hard thing to accept. I know this. I've been there. Just because you have feelings for girls, doesn't mean you won't end up marrying a man. You like men too, right?" Lea nodded. "So see? You can like both sexes. You can have kids with a woman as well. You will still get to be a mom if you end up marrying a girl. Nothing really changes except for the fact that girls have boobs and a vagina and guys have a penis. It's still a relationship like any other." Dianna finished.

"Ok." Lea answered meekly.

"What about the fear of what other people think? Are you talking about your family and friends or the business and the world? Dianna asked.

"A bit of both. I know my parents would accept me and my friends wouldn't really care but none of them would look at me the same. As for the world and all that, I don't want to be discriminated against when it comes to getting jobs. Once you come out in our business, you're marked. Everything becomes harder. I know that so much of the world thinks we are together and that doesn't really bother me, but if we were to be together for real? Everything would get so messed up." Lea finshed.

"So the kiss didn't mean anything?" Dianna asked. Lea's words had stung.

"Of course it did, Dianna." Lea said, taking Dianna's hand into her own.

"But you don't want to be with me for real?"

"I don't know if I can. Do you know how mad my PR team would get? I'm supposed to be dating Cory or whatever. You know they wouldn't allow us to be together. They barely let us be in public together as it is." Lea said.

"That doesn't mean we couldn't be together if you really wanted." Dianna snapped. She saw the hurt look on Lea's face and immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

"It's ok. You're right." Lea said.

"Lea? Do you want to be with me?" Dianna asked.

"I don't know."

"Ok." Dianna responded.

Both girls were quiet for a long time. Dianna's mind was replaying the kiss they had shared. She knew she shouldn't get into a relationship. She knew she wasn't ready after the rape but it was Lea. She wanted to be with the brunette beside her more than anything.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." Dianna said. She stood up and headed into the house before giving Lea a chance to respond. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes. A few hours earlier, she had been kissing Lea and she thought they might have been on the way to being together. Now she felt like there was no chance of them being together. At least not until Lea accepted herself.

Dianna walked into her room, changed into the pajamas she hadn't put on earlier, climbed into bed and tried to sleep.

It was 11:30 in the morning before Dianna woke up. It had taken her over 2 hours to fall asleep. She kept feeling Lea's lips on hers. She felt Lea's body on top of hers, moving around. There had been such want, such need in the brunette when they had kissed the night before. Dianna had tried to remember her life from just a couple of weeks ago. She tried to remember before she was raped, before she knew she was in love with her best friend, before they had kissed. She couldn't. She could remember certain events, yeah, but she couldn't remember the way she felt. She was finally able to drift off but her sleep had been dreamless.

Dianna got out of bed. She walked into the bathroom, stared at the bags under her eyes in the mirror and used the bathroom. She knew she should go find Lea and make sure she was ok but she wasn't ready to face her just yet. Instead, the blonde slowly did her hair and her makeup, taking as long as she could. Unfortunately, since her hair was short, it didn't take long. She silently cursed her decision to cut her hair and promised herself to grow it back out. At least if it was long, it would take longer to do if she was trying to avoid someone.

She flat ironed her hair for as long as she possibly could. Her hair had never been so straight. She sighed and figured she had no choice now. She was thirsty and the drinks were in the kitchen. She walked out of the bedroom, butterflies taking over her stomach. Slowly she made her way down the hallway before walking into the kitchen. There she was. The shorter girl was wearing a tank top and short shorts. Her tan legs stretched for miles, which was impressing considering her tiny stature. Dianna's breath hitched. She swallowed before speaking.

"Good morning, Lea." Dianna said. She tried to make her voice as upbeat as possible but in reality, she was heartbroken.

"Hey," Lea replied, not even lifting her eyes from the coffee she was currently stirring creamer into.

Dianna decided to try again. "Did you sleep well? I mean after you went back to sleep."

"I slept fine." Lea answered, eyes still not looking up.

"Good." Dianna gave up. Clearly her friend didn't want to talk. She walked to the fridge and pulled out a water bottle. Dianna leaned against the counter and studying her friend. Lea was still looking down into her coffee cup. She was leaned against the opposite counter. The girls stood in silence for a few minutes before Dianna spoke again. "Do you want me to go stay somewhere else? I'm sure Naya would let me stay with her. Or I guess I could go home." Dianna offered even though she knew she wasn't ready.

"You can stay if you want. It's up to you." Was all Lea offered up.

"Lea!" Dianna snapped. She couldn't take this cold shoulder.

Lea's eyes snapped up, chocolate meeting hazel.

"Are you really going to ignore me like this? Are we just going to ignore that last night happened? We kissed. Had I not had a flashback, who knows where we would've ended up. Then we talked. You said you weren't ready for us to be together. I have to accept that the woman I love, doesn't want to be with me. You don't see me pushing you away. Please don't push me away, Lea." Dianna hadn't realized she was as upset as she was until she stopped talking.

"You love me?" Lea asked. She said nothing else.

"What?" Dianna asked, playing dumb.

"You said I was the woman you loved."

"Oh." Dianna responded.

"So, do you? Love me? Like that?" Lea's eyes looked so soft, so desperate for an answer.

Dianna was quiet for a moment. She was contemplating her answer. "How could I not, Lea?"

Lea stood quiet. She didn't respond. She didn't say anything. It made Dianna nervous. She just wished Lea would say something. The blonde could see her friend processing.

"Look, I'm sorry ok. Just forget I said anything." Dianna finally said, she turned and headed out of the kitchen.

"Wait." Lea said and the next thing Dianna knew, Lea had her elbow and was turning her around. Their eyes met for a split second before Lea's lips were on hers once again. There was so much want. Dianna kissed back as Lea tangled her hands in the blonde's hair. She moved her hands to the other woman's back as she allowed Lea's tongue into her mouth. Dianna knew she should stop the kiss. She knew Lea wasn't ready and she wasn't sure she was either, but Lea's lips felt so good. Lea stopped the kiss, pulling away quickly and grabbed Dianna's hand, leading her into the bedroom. The women stopped next to Lea's bed and looked at each other. The pause was long enough for Dianna to decide they needed to stop.

"Lea, we can't." Dianna said. It was one of the hardest things she had ever said.

"I want to. I need you, Di. I don't care what anyone thinks, I just want you. Right here, right now. This is about us. No one else." Lea said. Dianna could see genuine want in the other woman's eyes.

"Ok." Dianna said back. She knew they would have to deal with the repercussions of this later but at the moment, she couldn't bring herself to care. She wanted Lea.

The girls crashed their lips together once more, their need for each other growing. Dianna pushed Lea back onto the bed and straddled her. She leaned down and captured Lea's lips once more. Forcing her tongue into the other girl's mouth, she moaned as she found herself grinding again Lea's hips. Dianna could feel Lea's hips move up against hers, and she knew Lea wanted her as much as she did. The blonde moved her kisses down to Lea's neck, relishing in the moans that she was rewarded with.

Lea tugged on the bottom of Dianna's t-shirt, and Dianna pulled her lips away long enough for the brunette to pull the shirt over her head. Dianna didn't have a bra on and she heard the other girl gasp. Dianna wasn't sure if the gasp was from the sight of her breasts, or the bruises that were still there.

"Are you ok?" Dianna asked.

"I know I've seen them before but I never realized how perfect they are." Lea answered before palming the breasts in front of her.

"God, Lea," Dianna said, loving the feeling of Lea's small hands massaging her boobs. She threw her head back in enjoyment as Lea started twisting and pulling on her nipples.

Lea stopped teasing her breasts and pulled her back down gently by her necklace. Dianna quickly pushed the hair out of her face and took Lea's lips back into her own. She sucked on the other woman's bottom lip and released it. Smiles filled both girls' faces.

"You're beautiful." Dianna told Lea, staring into her eyes.

"You're beautiful too." Lea said back.

"You're overdressed." Dianna said, letting out a small giggle.

"You should fix that then." Lea answered. Dianna scooted down on Lea a bit so the brunette could sit up enough to have her shirt removed. She was braless too, Dianna was happy to see. She took Lea's nipple into her mouth, sucking gently. Lea's hands' fisting her mess of blonde hair was driving her insane. She flicked her tongue and was once again rewarded with a moan. She began to kiss down Lea's stomach, heading to the place they both wanted her to be. They were both so lost in each other, it scared them when Lea's cell phone began to ring.

"No." Lea said.

Dianna stopped the kissing, sat up and grabbed Lea's phone. She glanced at the caller ID. "It's Cory." She handed the phone to the half dressed woman below her. "I'm going to go get a drink." Dianna said, clearly exacerbated by the interruption. She climbed off of Lea as the other girl answered the phone.

"What do you want Cory?" Lea said. That was all Dianna heard as she walked out of the room. She made it to the kitchen before she allowed herself to breathe. She forgot she was topless until she opened the fridge and the cold air hit her. Self-consciousness took over her mind and she crossed her arms over her chest. She took a long sip of the water bottle she had removed, keeping one arm over her chest.

"Hey." Lea said as she appeared. Dianna noticed she had thrown her tank top back on. "Here." She handed Dianna her t-shirt.

"Thanks." She replied, taking the shirt and slipping it on.

"I hate Cory." Lea said, chuckling a little.

"Me too." Embarrassment filled the room. Neither girl seemed to know what to say. They were both shifting around awkwardly.

"It's probably a good thing he called. We got so caught up. We need to talk about all of this. If we are going to be together, we need to take it slow. You've never been with a girl and I'm trying to get over being raped."

"I know. I just got so caught up in you. You're right though. I want to be with you. I'm pretty sure I do at least. And you need to figure out if you are even ready to be with anyone. We need to seriously think about this. "Lea answered. She grabbed Dianna's water bottle and quickly took a sip.

"I don't know if I'm ready. What happened was horrible and scary and it's hard to deal with the fact that it actually happened to me. I think about it almost all the time. I still have stitches. The only time I don't think about it is when I'm with you. Would being in a relationship and having sex make it worse? Or because it's with you, would it make it better? I don't know." Dianna said. Her thoughts were rushing once again.

"I would never want to make things worse for you." Lea said. Dianna took the water bottle back and took a sip of her own.

"I know." Dianna said.

Quiet filled the room once again. Lea broke it first. "Di, what are we going to do about Jake?"

Dianna tensed at the mention of the man who raped her. "I don't know." She said honestly.

"You have to tell the police it was him. They need to get him in custody so they can match the results from the rape kit. I don't mean to push you, but Dianna he works with us. What if he does this to another girl on the lot? What if it's Naya or Heather or Jenna next? What if it's me? You need to turn him in." Lea finished.

"I'm scared." Dianna said.

"I know you are." Lea wrapped her arms around the other girl. "The worst is over, Di. I will be right there with you. I promise I won't leave your side."

"What about the media, Lea? I don't want the world to know and if I report it to the police, then we will have to go to court and you know the media will find out." Dianna said.

"Yeah but isn't that better than him hurting someone else? I'm not saying that this being strewn all over the television and internet won't suck and be tremendously hard, but Dianna he could hurt someone else. Someone you love could be next. The guilt from not turning him in will be so much worse than the media." Lea said.

"I know." Dianna answered quietly.

"Dianna, I'm not telling you what to do; I'm just giving you my input. Either way, I'll be with you 100%."

"Thank you, Lea." Dianna closed the gap and pulled the other woman into a hug. Lea squeezed her back. "Ok so I'm starving. Can we please forget all this sucky stuff for now and go get something to eat?"

"Of course. Get dressed and I'll meet you out here in 10 minutes." Lea reached up and quickly pecked Dianna on the lips.

"Deal." Dianna said. They both had a lot to think about but forgetting about it and having a meal with her best friend sounded perfect.


	11. Chapter 11

Before Dianna knew it, a week had passed. She walked into the hospital to get her stitches removed. The doctor wanted to check her for HIV as well as pregnancy. Dianna wasn't exactly a huge fan of needles but she knew it was for the best. Lea had wanted to come with her but Dianna wouldn't let her. The blonde smiled at the thought of Lea as she walked down the hallway towards her destination. They had spent the week stealing quick kisses here and there. There had been make-out sessions but nothing more than that. They were both still trying to figure out what they wanted. Dianna knew they shouldn't be having any physical contact until they both knew what they were going to do but Dianna couldn't help it. She was addicted to Lea.

The blonde smiled as she made it to the doctor's office. "I'm here to get my stitches removed. I also think they are going to take some blood." She quickly sighed in and went to sit down. Her phone chose that moment to vibrate. She looked down and saw a message from Lea.

Lea: Hi Di! How goes the doctor?

Dianna smiled as she typed back.

Dianna: I haven't actually seen her yet. I left your place like 10 minutes ago. You were there. :)

Dianna was lost in thought when her name was called. She followed the nurse back and sat down in the chair as she was told. "We are going to take your blood first okay, Ms. Agron?" The nurse said, quickly tying a tourniquet around her upper arm. Dianna scrunched her face up in pain once the needle went in. Watching as the tubes filled up with her blood, Dianna couldn't help but let her mind wander to why she was there in the first place. The day her entire world had come crashing down. The day when she stopped feeling safe in her life.

"All done," the nurse smiled at her and quickly applied a band aid. "We will get this rushed off to the lab right away. It shouldn't take too long for the results. I'll be right back to remove your stitches. I just need you to take off your pants and underwear and place this over your lap." The nurse handed Dianna a white cover up before leaving the room.

She felt her entire body tense up at the thought of getting undressed in a foreign place as well as having a stranger touching her down there. Dianna felt her hands shaking as she removed her clothing and went to sit on the exam table, immediately laying down. She knew her feel would be up in the stirrups soon. Her breathing was rapid and she was trying to calm it down. It wasn't long before the nurse returned with her tray of tools.

"Alright, sweetie, feet into the stirrups," Dianna obeyed, "Now scoot down a little bit more." Once Dianna was in the correct position, the woman went to work clipping and pulling the tiny sutures out of her. Dianna couldn't help but wince a little as each one came out. It didn't hurt as much as just freaked her out. After what felt like ages, the nurse sat back up. "You're all fixed it," the nurse smiled. Dianna tried to smile weakly back but knew it wasn't working. "No sex for at least a week. You have temporary bandages where the stitches were. They will come off in a few days with soap and water. You're allowed to shower now, just no baths, hot tubs or pools for a few more weeks." Dianna tried to focus as the woman talked but it was hard. She was nervous about what her blood results would say. The nurse cleaned up after herself before walking to the door. "I'll go and see if your results are ready and then we will get you on your way. You can get dressed." The nurse smiled once again before leaving the room. Dianna returned her clothes to her body and sat down, her leg jiggling in nervousness. Time seemed to move to slowly before the nurse finally returned. She sat down across from Dianna and looked at the chart. "Ms. Agron, you're pregnant."

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The blonde walked slowly through the park. Her brain still hadn't registered what she had been told. Pregnant. She was pregnant. Her phone vibrated for what felt like the 20th time in the past hour. She picked it up and read Lea's name flash across the screen. She ignored it once again and kept walking. Her mind was spinning. She was free of HIV but she was pregnant. It just couldn't sink in. A screaming child tore Dianna out of her thoughts and everything hit her at once. She literally collapsed onto the hard concrete as the sobs tore through her. She felt like she couldn't breathe, the weight on her chest was so intense that she thought she might pass out. She forced herself to breathe, to allow some air to reach her lungs as she cried. Everything was broken. Everything was messed up. Everything was wrong. Dianna felt the vomit race up through her esophagus and she spewed out across the grass. She didn't know how long she laid there and cried but she knew that many people had stopped and tried to help her. She had ignored all of them until she recognized a voice.

"Dianna," Naya said quietly, pushing her hair out of her face. "Dianna it's me. It's Naya."

Dianna looked up at Naya slowly, her brain slowly registering who it was. "Nay? How-how did you know I was here?"

Naya brushed blonde hair out of hazel eyes, "I posted tweet on Twitter and then I kept getting random tweets saying Dianna Agron was having a mental breakdown in the park. So I came to find out if it was true because you weren't answering your phone and Lea couldn't get a hold of you either."

Dianna nodded her head slowly as Naya spoke. "We…we should get home or…at least out of here," the blonde said quietly. "People are looking." She allowed her friend to help her up and they started walking down the path.

"Di, what happened?" Naya asked, "You had the doctor didn't you? What did they say? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was at the doctor to get my stitches removed. Also to find out if I-if I'm pregnant or if I have any STD's," Dianna told her trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Well, what's the result? Are you okay?" Naya asked quickly.

"Yeah, everything is okay," Dianna told her. She couldn't bring herself to tell her friend that she was pregnant. She just couldn't.

"Okay, good," Naya told her, wrapping her arm around Dianna's shoulders, pulling her close as they talked. "Why the tears then, Di? Flashbacks?"

Dianna was silent for a while. She hated lying but she just couldn't deal with this right now. "Yeah, flash-flashbacks," she stuttered.

"Have you thought about therapy?" Naya asked. "It might help you get passed all this."

Dianna felt herself tense up at Naya's words. She pulled herself out of her grasp before speaking, "Get passed this? How on earth do you expect me to just get passed this, Naya? Are you actually serious right now? Do you not grasp what happened? Do you not understand that this isn't something you just get passed?" Dianna crossed her arms across her chest. "You know what? Thanks for coming and finding me but I just..I need to go. Bye." With those last few words, Dianna took off towards her car.


	12. Chapter 12

Dianna could feel movement in her stomach. Crawling and wriggling around. It felt like worms or snakes making their way through her intestines. She looked down at her stomach and was shocked at what she saw. Tiny tube like figures were able to be seen against her skin fighting to get through. She couldn't believe what she was seeing as she watched the worms eat their way through her skin and pour out of her abdomen. Hundreds of bugs and creepy crawlers came out of the hole in her stomach. All of a sudden she could hear a horrible high pitched noise and she turned her head just in time to see a banshee screaming in her ear.

"Dianna! Wake up!" The blonde could hear a voice far away but she couldn't grasp it or recognize it. All she could focus on was the loud scream and the insects still making their way out of her stomach.

"Dianna!" She heard the yelling once again, louder this time. It was accompanied with what felt like an earthquake. Her eyes ripped open and she could see chocolate orbs staring down at her. The screaming didn't stop and she realized it was her own mouth emitting the sound. Dianna tried to focus on Lea's face, tried to bring herself back to reality. She quickly ripped her blanket off her body and looked down at her pale stomach. There was no hole or insects but Dianna remembered what was growing inside her. She tore off to the bathroom and emptied her stomach. It wasn't long before she felt a cold washcloth on the back of her neck as she threw up. Lea's tiny hands took a hold of the mess of blonde hair that Dianna was trying to hold as she was sick.

"I'm right here, Di. I've got you." Lea gently rubbed circles into Dianna's back. She was sick until there was literally nothing left in her stomach. She collapsed into Lea, letting herself go completely weak in the tans arms. "Flashbacks?" was all that Lea asked.

Dianna nodded even though it was a lie. She hadn't dreamt anything about Jake or what had happened to her. All she could think about was the thing growing in her. It made her sick, her skin crawl. It wasn't supposed to be there. The thing was nothing but evil and it wasn't fair that her life would change without any form of consent from her.

"Come on, Di. Let's get you back in bed. I'll cuddle with you okay?" Lea was already helping her up when Dianna nodded at the words. She literally couldn't speak. She was trying but nothing was coming out. The girls made their way to the bed and fell into it together. Lea wrapped her arms protectively around the blonde and held her close. "I've got you. I'm not going anywhere?" Lea whispered as she played with Dianna's hair. Sleep wasn't going to return to Dianna and she knew it so she just tried to focus on Lea's voice as she closed her eyes and tried to breathe in Lea's scent.

Dianna's ringtone woke her several hours later. She had no idea when she'd fallen back asleep but she woke with a start. She answered the phone without looking at the ID. "Hello?"

"Lady Di!" Mark's voice boomed through the phone. Dianna pulled the ear piece back a little bit before speaking again.

"Hey Mark. Do you have any idea what time it is?" she asked, slightly groggy.

"It's 1:17 in the afternoon," Mark replied. Dianna didn't believe him until she looked over at the clock on her shelf.

"Oh. Right," she mumbled. "What's up?"

"I wanted to see if you wanted to grab something to eat. You have your best friend's worried." Mark told her, his voice softening.

Dianna rolled her eyes. No doubt Naya and Lea had called him. Probably the entire cast in fact knowing them. "I don't know."

"Come on, Di. You need to get out of bed. Come have a burger with me," Mark pleaded. Dianna could hear the desperation in his voice.

"Okay. I'll be there in an hour; Text me the address." Dianna hit end on the phone and buried her face in her pillow once again.

An hour later she pulled her car into the parking lot. Mark was waiting outside for her and immediately led her inside. Dianna pressed herself into him as they passed strangers staring at them. It was something Dianna was used to but she was much more on edge now. Mark led her into the back room and Dianna was surprised by what she saw. Her fellow cast mates were there.

"What is this? Some jacked up intervention?" Dianna snapped a bit more harshly than she meant to. She knew her friends just cared about her. Chris stood up and pulled her into a hug before Chord pulled out a chair for her to sit down next to Lea. Immediately the tiny woman grasped her hand under the table and began rubbing gentle circles into her hand.

"Di, we just wanted you to be around the people who love you," Naya piped up. Dianna felt herself tense up but willed her body to relax. She nodded slowly and picked up her menu, immediately deciding on a simple veggie burger even though she wasn't even remotely hungry.

The group ordered and began talking about the end of the season and everyone's plans for the summer. New characters were discussed with many placing bets on if the new head cheerio would be as bitchy as Quinn and Santana. Dianna was trying so hard to join in and care what was being talked about but she just couldn't. With every bite she took of her burger, she thought about her dream and the thing currently growing inside her. Would Ryan let her stay on the show or would she just disappear and never make it to season 4? Would she even keep this baby? What would happen to Jake? All these thoughts ran circles around her brain and she couldn't hear her friends anymore.

"Dianna," Lea whispered, squeezing her hand gently. "Do you want to get some air?" Dianna nodded and the women excused themselves to the patio. "What's going on babe?"

Dianna looked up at her friend, "I don't know. Just a lot to think about right now. Everything that happened and everything between us. My head is just a mess right now." Dianna finished her ramble and looked back down at her hands.

"Di, I don't know what's going on with us. I love kissing you and just being with you like that but I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationship with a girl, regardless of what the media thinks. Can't we just let things progress as they do?" Lea placed her fingers under Dianna's chin and pushed her face up until their eyes met again. She leaned in and gently kissed her. The kiss was quick but sweet. It was the only thing that made Dianna feel less screwed up. Dianna quickly pulled some money out of her purse and handed it to Lea.

"Can you tell everyone I had to go? It's just too much right now. I'll see you back at your place okay?" Dianna stood up and walked away. She made it back to her car before breaking down in sobs for what felt like the millionth time in the past few weeks. She just wasn't sure how to handle anything anymore. Everything just felt so hopeless and she didn't know if she would ever return to who she was before.


	13. Chapter 13

Dianna was heading back to Lea's place when she changed her mind and headed in a different direction. She pulled off into a remote area and grabbed her workout bag from the back seat and changed as easily as she could, which wasn't very simple. Between her sore body and the cramped car, it took a bit of work. Once she was changed into a simple tank and workout pants, she drove her car to the park. Dianna knew that a lot of celebrities frequented the park to exercise and she could only hope she wouldn't run into anyone. She didn't want to talk.

Once inside the gates, she took off running. She tried to keep herself to a jog but her brain just wouldn't let her. Everything was so messed up in her world. She was pregnant. Her mind still couldn't wrap around that. She knew she couldn't get rid of the baby. She didn't have it in her. Could she really keep it though? This baby was made out of hate. Dianna headed up the hill, her thighs burning but she didn't care. Running was the only thing she could do to escape life. She tried to push it out of her mind and think about Lea. What did she want to do? Lea wanted to see where things went. Dianna wanted answers. Of course she loved the brunette. Who didn't? It was such a complicated situation. While yes, they could date and it would be wonderful but what would they do about the media? Hell, what were they going to do about Ryan? He had already forced them apart once and they had just been living together. What would he do if he found out they were actually together? Dianna's brain was on complete overload and she didn't know how to stop it. Everything was screaming inside her head. She just wanted quiet for a few moments but she knew that wasn't possible. She stopped running suddenly and let herself be sick in a bush off the side of the path. It wasn't long before she felt a hand on her back.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" a woman's voice asked. Dianna wiped her mouth and turned around to see who was talking to her. Dianna sighed when she saw who it was. Katy Perry. Dianna hadn't seen her in months. They had never really been friends but they had talked here and there at awards shows.

"Yeah," Dianna answered, covering her mouth to keep her gross breath off the singer. "I'm okay. I just have some sort of stomach bug." Dianna really had no reason to lie to the other woman, it just came out.

"Are you sure?" Katy asked, "Do you want me to give you a ride somewhere?"

Dianna nodded, "I'll be okay." She reached for her water bottle and took a sip. "Thanks for checking on me."

Katy nodded and gave a small smile before squeezing the blondes arm and continuing on her run. Dianna watched the woman retreat before turning and heading back to her car. She cursed the small being growing inside her, making her sick. All she wanted to do was run. She couldn't even do that properly. Tears fell again and she made no attempt to stop them. She slowly made her way through the park and finally made it back to her car. She didn't know where to go. Nowhere seemed safe anymore. Nowhere seemed like home. She hadn't even been to her own home and what felt like years. After a few moments of debating, she gave in and made her way back to Lea's house.

Within 20 minutes, Dianna had pulled into Lea's driveway. She put her car in park and leaned back in the seat, her head resting on her hand. She glanced up at the house and saw Lea through the window. The tiny brunette was pacing. She always did that when she was nervous or worried. That or drink wine. Sure enough, a few moments later, Lea brought a wine glass to her lips. Dianna cracked an almost faint smile at how predictable Lea was. The blonde let her mind wander once again, this time to Lea. Had it really only been a few days since they had collapsed on that couch, hands everywhere? The days were passing so slowly, yet everything was a blur. Dianna shook her head to clear her thoughts before letting them slowly return to the brunette once again. She loved Lea, there were no doubts about that. In all honesty, Dianna knew Lea loved her too. It was the media attention that was getting in the way. Was a secret romance worth it? Dianna sighed. Of course it was worth it. It was Lea. Dianna had loved her since day 1.

There was one major kink in any romantic plans though. The 'thing' growing inside her was a sure deal breaker. There wasn't a chance in hell that Lea would want to have a kid. Especially this kid. This kid was conceived completely out of hate. How was Dianna even supposed to tell anyone about her pregnancy, let alone Lea? It had been a possibility, sure, but it's not like she ever thought she would end up pregnant. Everything in her life felt like it was being ripped away. She had to talk to Lea though. She knew it. It was killing her to keep this all inside and she needed someone to talk to.

Dianna clamored out of the car and made her way to the front door. It still felt weird to just walk in even though she had a key. She pushed the door open and before she had even managed to get half a syllable out, a mess of dark hair was in her face.

"Hey," Dianna said quietly as Lea squeezed tighter.

"Where have you been? I was so worried!" Lea finally released the taller girl but kept a hold of her hand.

"I went out running, which in hindsight wasn't the best plan, " Dianna admitted as pain radiated through her body from push too hard too soon.

"Why did you leave?" Lea asked.

"It..it was just too much," she admitted. "There were too many people and it felt like they were all staring at me. I just couldn't handle it."

Lea led the pair to the couch and sat down, gently pulling Dianna down. "Di..." Lea said quietly, "I'm really sorry. I thought it would help to spend time with the people who care about you. You've...you've been through so much."

Dianna nodded, tears stinging her eyes but she fought them back. "I know and I appreciate it. I just don't think I'm ready for people yet. I can't really handle much other than you and Naya," she admitted honestly.

Lea nodded in understanding, "That makes sense. I've never been through anything like this. Only you know what you limits are," she smiled. The smile was contagious and before she knew it, Dianna was smiling as well.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Is that okay?" Dianna asked. She felt disgusting from her run.

Lea nodded, "Of course, sweetie."

"Thank you," Dianna acknowledged before standing up and walking back into her bedroom. She shut the door behind her and silently cursed herself for not being able to tell Lea the truth. She ran her fingers through her hair, walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Dianna tried her hardest to enjoy her shower but just like every other time, she hated being naked, exposed. It wasn't safe anymore. She had never been ashamed of her body before, never felt unsafe walking around her room naked. Now, she couldn't even bare to be in a locked bathroom alone. As quickly as possible she got washed up and got out. Dianna looked in the mirror at herself, slowly running her fingers along her stomach. She didn't look pregnant. She was only a short way along though so it wasn't surprising. Tears welled up in her eyes once again. All she did anymore was cry.

She tried her hardest to picture a future with this little child that was good. She wanted to thing about raising a cute kid and being a mom. It didn't work. She felt sick again. It made her entire body shake. She hated this. She hated her own body. She had never hated herself this much before or really at all. Before she knew what she was doing she had punched the wall.

"Fuck," she exclaimed as pain seared through her knuckles. It wasn't 30 seconds later when she heard a knock on the bathroom door and the familiar voice of her best friend.

"Di, what was that? Are you okay?" she panicked through the door.

"I'm okay," the blonde lied back. She looked down at her hand, it was shaking and she couldn't make it stop. A small amount of blood ran down her hand.

"Let me in, Dianna," Lea demanded from the other side of the door. Dianna grabbed a towel to cover herself up before unlocking the door. She collapsed back down on the ground and a moment later, the smaller woman sat next to her. "What happened?"

Dianna looked at her for a while, not speaking. The dark chocolate eyes of the woman piercing into her, concern covering her face. It wasn't long before Lea had taken Dianna's hurt hand and began examining it. "You punched the wall?" Lea asked. Dianna nodded. She couldn't speak. Words wouldn't form. "Why, baby?"

Dianna was caught off guard by the name. She looked away from the brunette and took a deep breath. Her brain was screaming at her to tell the truth. Her mouth just wouldn't respond.

"Di, please," Lea begged.

Dianna looked up at her once again before closing her eyes, "I'm pregnant."

Dianna knew her words were nothing more than a whisper but she still waited, her eyes closed, hoping for some sort of response from the woman next to her. Nothing came. Dianna slowly opened her eyes and looked at Lea. Her face was twisted in confusion and upset at the news. "Lea?" Dianna asked, a little louder than her previous statement.

"Huh?" Lea asked, snapping out of her own world. The blonde looked at her for a moment. "Did you hear what I said?"

Lea nodded a little bit before shaking her head and pulling Dianna close. "It's going to be okay, Di. I promise it's going to be okay."

The words didn't have much of an effect on Dianna. She knew it wouldn't be okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.

——————————————

Lea and Dianna barely spoke over the next few days. She knew the smaller woman was processing everything but she wished they could talk about it. Everything was making Dianna very anxious. She managed to get everything wrapped for the season although she didn't know how she had even made it through the remaining part of the year. It was finally summer time and Dianna was more than ready for it. She needed a break from the lot and seeing Jake everyday. Every time she walked passed him or heard him speak, she felt nauseous and she had to keep from throwing up.

"Lady Di," Dianna heard someone call across the lot as she was walking to her car. She turned around and saw Mark chasing after her. "Hey," she gave a small smile.

"What are you doing this summer?" he asked, leaning against her car.

Dianna looked at him, confusion washing over her face. "I'm heading to Paris tomorrow. You know I've been planning this trip since January."

"Right," he said, "Who's watching Arthur while you're gone?"

"Heather," she responded again. She paused for a moment before speaking again, "What's up Mark? You're acting weird."

"I'm just checking on you."

Realization dawned on her face. He must have found out about the rape. It was bound to spread around the lot eventually. "I'm okay. I'm tired but I'm okay. Thanks." She reached up and gave him a hug before getting into her car. Dianna waved before driving off. Everyone had been overly nice to her since she returned to work. Some people still believed that a light had fallen on her but slowly the truth was making its way around. She hated it. People were being fake with her. She shook her head to clear her mind as she drove through Hollywood. All she seemed to be able to see were little kids running around or strollers being pushed. It scared her. That would be her soon. Only one exception. She didn't want her kid. It was made from hate. It wasn't the child she wanted. There was nothing exciting about this pregnancy and frankly, she couldn't wait for it to be over.


	14. Chapter 14

Dianna put her car in park in front of her apartment and sat there staring up at it. She hadn't been back in over a month. Not since the morning of her rape. She took her hands off the steering wheel and noticed they were shaking. She wasn't sure why she was so scared to go back to her own place. Maybe it had something to do with her not wanting to be alone? She really didn't know. It's not like it had happened there. She had completely avoided her trailer at work since that day, opting for Naya's or Lea's.

Taking a deep breath she opened the door and climbed out, slowly making her way to her front door. She willed her hands to stop shaking but it was no use. It felt like she was walking into the past when she stepped across the threshold. Nothing had changed since the last time she was there. She walked through to her kitchen and looked around. The spoon from her coffee that morning was still on the counter. Goosebumps formed on her arm. The entire thing was nerve wracking. She spun around when she heard a loud thud coming from the ceiling. Her entire body froze. No other noise followed. "Calm down, Di. It's just the people in the apartment above you." She tried so hard to calm her nerves once again but it seemed no use.

Her breathing was getting more and more rapid as she spent more time alone. She couldn't handle it. Panic attacks weren't something she had often but she had a history of them. As quickly as she could she ran into her bedroom and grabbed her suitcase for Paris. She threw together as many outfits as she could and tossed them in the bag, zipping it once it was full. Her eyes darted around the room, ears perked listening to every single sound as she packed. Dianna grabbed the suitcase and tore back through her living room and out the front door. She locked it as quickly as she could and climbed back in her car. Finally she was able to take a breath. Air filled her lungs as her nerves slowly calmed themselves back down.

She jumped when her phone started ringing. Lea's name flashed up on the screen.

"H..hello?" she stuttered into the phone, her voice shaking.

"Di, are you okay?" Lea's voice was full of concern.

The blonde shook her head trying to clear her nerves, "I'm okay." She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers into her forehead before speaking again. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering where you were. You weren't home when I got here."

Dianna nodded into the phone, "Right, yeah, I'm sorry. I...I was at my place getting some things for Paris. I'll be back soon, okay?" She hung up her phone before Lea could say another word. After a few minutes she put her car in park and started to drive the direction of Lea's.

As soon as Dianna walked through the front door, Lea was wrapped around her once again. It seemed every time she came in the tiny brunette needed to hug her. "I'm so glad you're safe," Lea said, her words muffling in the mess of blonde hair.

"I'm fine," Dianna lied, pushing Lea away slightly so she could make her way to her room, pulling the suitcase behind her. She was trying her hardest to fight off the tears that wanted to fall. It wasn't long before she heard Lea following her. "Di, please," Lea said quietly.

Dianna didn't answer as she walked into her room. Her nerves were still shot from her earlier adventure. Lea grabbed at Dianna's arm, causing her to jump and jerk her arm away. "Don't." Dianna could see the hurt in Lea's eyes at her reaction. "I...I'm really sorry, Lea. I didn't mean it." She gently grabbed Lea's arm, "I'm really sorry."

"Come sit down with me, Dianna," Lea's voice was gentle as she led the blonde to the bed.

"I really need to pack, Lea." Dianna told her.

"It's just for a minute, okay? We need to talk." Lea sat down, pulling Dianna down too. "I need you to tell me the truth. What's wrong? What happened?"

Dianna avoided Lea's eyes. She really didn't want to have this discussion. It wasn't easy for her to talk about.

"Can I see you hand?" Lea asked, not waiting for an answer before she carefully picked up Dianna's injured hand. "How's it feeling today? Hurting?" The blonde nodded as the other woman carefully examined the bruised knuckles. Lea brought the hand up to her lips and gently kissed it. "Better?" she asked with a smile. Dianna nodded again, a small smile forming. It was amazing how calming Lea could be.

"So, how was your old place?" Lea asked, nodded her head towards the suitcase.

"Scary," Dianna admitted quietly. "I didn't like being alone."

Lea laid down in the bed and pulled Dianna down next to her. "I wish you would've told me you were going. I would've gone with you."

Dianna laid her head on Lea's chest, breathing in her scent, complete calmness washing over her. "I'm sorry. I guess I just wanted to prove I could do it myself."

"It's okay to ask for help, Di. Especially from me."

"It's hard to ask for help. Especially from you right now," Dianna admitted. She wasn't sure why she was talking about all of this but listening to Lea's heartbeat was so calming. It made her brain fuzzy.

It took a few moments before Lea responded, "What's going on with us?"

Dianna shook her head a little bit, "I don't know. I guess it's up to you. I mean with the pregnancy and all."

"I don't know, Dianna. I wish I did. I wish I knew how to deal with this but I don't. Everything is just so complicated. This is all so new to me. I just don't know how to handle this."

"And you think I do?" Dianna asked, lifted her head to look Lea in the eyes. "I'm terrified, Lea. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I want to be with you, you know this but this stupid thing inside of me is ruining that and it's not fair!" Dianna's voice as risen without her realizing it.

"Baby...," Lea said quietly.

"Please, don't." Dianna said to her. "Please don't call me that. It hurts."

"I don't know what to do about the baby, Di. I don't know what I think about it or how to react. I do know that laying here with you is my favorite thing to do. I know I love kissing you. Can't we just focus on that part for now?" Lea asked, leaning in and kissing Dianna for a moment before pulling away.

"You have to make a choice, Lea." Dianna said even though it was killing her.

"I want you, Dianna. Please."

Dianna sighed before nodding slowly. "I want you too. Why don't you come to Paris with me? Maybe a change of scenery will help up figure things out?"

"I'd love too." Lea smiled before leaning in and kissing Dianna once again.

First class. Dianna rarely ever sat in first class. She had never really minded being in coach. It didn't cost an arm and a leg and she would rather spend her money on other things. Today though, she couldn't handle being in close proximity with a bunch of people she didn't know. She was too scared.

It was going to be a long day. First their flight from Los Angeles to New York and then New York to Paris. Dianna couldn't wait to arrive in her favorite city once again. She always found peace when she was there. She was really hope she would be able to calm her brain down long enough to figure out some sort of plan for the next few months. She already knew Glee was off the table. Her and Ryan had discussed it and they decided Dianna would only appear in a handful of episodes over the next few seasons or until she thought she was ready. He wasn't thrilled but since her contract was up for renewal at the end of season 3, it was her decision.

She had no idea what the rest of her plans were. She had signed on to make a movie with Robert DiNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer but she wasn't even sure if she could manage that at the time being. She was so angry with everything. Scared and angry. She alternated between the two during the day, trying her hardest to keep what she was feeling to herself.

Dianna looked at her watch. 5 hours until they landed at Charles de Gualle in Paris. Lea was happily chatting away and onto her 3rd glass of wine. Dianna kept going in and out of their conversation. Her focusing abilities had been all but wiped out over the past month. Everything just kept swirling around in her head. Her to-do list and all the what-ifs were clouding her thoughts.

"Dianna," Lea said, causing the blonde to focus once again.

"Yes? Sorry, hi," she looked next to her and smiled. Lea looked beautiful. Even though they were just flying all day, the brunette had fixed herself up. Dianna looked like a mess in comparison.

"Hi," Lea smiled back at her. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Dianna shook her head, "I'm okay. I think I might nap though, is that okay?" She knew the seats would fold down to beds and she was so tired.

"Of course. Do you want to lay on my lap?" Lea asked her. Dianna nodded and Lea began shifting things around so there was nothing between them. She wrapped herself up in a blanket and laid down, Lea immediately running her fingers through blonde hair. It wasn't long before the hum of the airplane lulled Dianna to sleep.

"Bonjour et bienvenue à Paris."

Dianna woke with a start to the flight attendant welcoming them to Paris. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was so tired still but she knew she needed to get up.

"Are you okay, baby?" Dianna heard Lea ask, her voice quiet.

"Yeah, my head is just a little fuzzy. How was the rest of the flight? I'm sorry I slept the whole time." Dianna began gathering her things, waiting for the seat belt sign to be turned off.

"It was good. I watched a few movies, listened to some music. You missed ice cream. It wasn't half bad," Lea chuckled. The pilot turned off the sign at the girls stood up, stretching out their legs. Dianna's were stiff from laying down for so long.

"Guess I will just have to go find my own ice cream then," Dianna laughed, sticking her tongue out at the other girl. She could already feel the stress slowly starting to fade away.

"You'll end up sharing it with me anyway and you know it." Lea laughed. She reached up to try and get her luggage out of the overhead compartment but she was way too short. "Hey, Di, can you help me?" Dianna nodded and quickly grabbed the small suitcase from above. "Thanks." The blonde grabbed hers as well and they made their way off the plane.

Finally they arrived at their hotel. It wasn't far from the Eiffel Tower and Dianna always stayed there whenever she was in Paris. They walked into their suite. It had a massive bed, flat screen TV and a huge bathroom with a tub that could easily fit 4 people. "I love this hotel," Dianna mentioned, dropping her purse on the bed before laying down.

"It's definitely nice," Lea looked around before climbing onto the bed as well. "So what should we do first?" she asked, bouncing a little.

"How are you not jetlagged?" Dianna asked, arching her eyebrow.

Lea giggled a little, "I guess I travel so much and work such strange hours that my body doesn't work correctly."

"Well, I'm tired and drained and I was hoping maybe we could just hang around here today? At least for a few hours?" Dianna could feel the weight of her body hit her. "I really just want to nap, maybe shower? You can go out if you want to."

"That's okay, I'll stay," Lea kicked off her shoes and laid down next to Dianna, wrapping her arm around her. "Let's get some sleep. It'll be more fun to explore with you later."

Dianna smiled, scooting back into the smaller girl, drowsiness washing over her. "I love you," she mumbled before her body succumbed to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Dianna awoke with a start and tore towards the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before her stomach emptied itself. It hadn't been very full to begin with though so soon enough she was done. Standing up to look in the mirror, she could feel her balance was off. She held on to the counter to steady herself. Sunlight shone through the window as she washed her face and brushed her teeth. She had no idea what time it was in Paris or LA. Dianna walked back into the bedroom and grabbed her phone, hitting the home button. It was 7:13am. She couldn't believe she had actually slept straight through the night. It had helped that she was safe in Lea's arms.

"Lea?" Dianna thought. Where was she? She looked around quickly and saw that the brunette was nowhere to be found. Dianna wouldn't let herself panic though. She knew Lea went running everyday so that was probably where she was.

Dianna sat down on the bed, crossed her legs in front of her and grabbed the tv remote. She began flipping through the channels, hoping to find at least something in English. She finally stopped on an old episode of Wizards of Waverley Place in French. She knew it would amuse her until Lea returned.

2 episodes into the tv show and the door handle started to rattle. Dianna immediately panicked. Someone was at the door. Someone was trying to get in. Dianna got up slowly and headed towards the bathroom, terrified. What if it was him? What if he had found her? It felt like she had been hiding forever but she knew it had only been a few seconds. She just wanted them to go away.

There were three loud knocks on the door. "Dianna, let me in. I left my key." Immediately the blonde let out the breath she hadn't even known she had been holding and walked over to the door, quickly opening it. She threw her arms around the smaller woman.

"Di, baby, what's wrong?" Lea asked, leading her over to the bed. Dianna hadn't even realized she was crying until Lea started wiping away tears. She didn't say anything. She was at a loss for words. She hated being this person. This scared little girl.

"I brought croissants and coffee," Lea told her. For the first time since she had entered the room, Dianna saw that she had been holding food and drinks for them.

Dianna nodded, "Thanks." She knew her voice was spacey but she couldn't bring herself to care. Her heart rate was still trying to slow back down from her panic attack.

The blonde sat down on the bed, breathing slowly, watching Lea set up the food and coffee she had returned with. She was in a complete trance seeing her psudeo girlfriend make everything so neat and tidy. Lea had always been a bit OCD. Dianna was so lost in thought; she jumped a bit when Lea said her name telling her to come sit down.

"Hi, pretty lady," Lea said once Dianna had sat down. The blonde smiled a little, trying to let herself be in the moment instead of lost in her scary thoughts.

"This looks really good," Dianna told Lea. The brunette laughed, joking about how she got chocolate sauce as well in a poorly done French accent. The taller girl couldn't help but laugh before taking a bite. The croissants in Paris have always been her favorite. She had missed them. Letting herself get lost in the memories of the previous times she was in Paris, long before her life had been turned upside down. Her cell phone chimed, pulling her out of her daydream of being lost in the catacombs beneath the city.

"It's Naya," Lea told her, handing the phone over. Dianna glanced at the screen. 

Just checking in. Hope you and Lea aren't having too much fun. ;) call me if you need me.

Dianna smiled a little.

"Everything okay?" Lea asked.

"Yeah, Naya was just checking in. You know she doesn't go more than a day without contacting me to make sure I'm not lying in a ditch somewhere." Dianna sighed. It wasn't easy being watched all the time. She had always been pretty independent.

"She's just worried about you, baby. You scared her. All of us." Lea looked down at the floor, before taking a sip of her coffee. Dianna could tell Lea was nervous about mentioning anything. Dianna hadn't exactly been very nice to people lately who brought any of what happened up. This time wasn't going to be any different. Dianna took a sip of her coffee and for the first time since finding out, she froze. "Can I have coffee? Isn't it bad for…it." She wasn't entirely sure what to call it. Evil fetus seemed a bit extreme.

"I think you're okay with having a little amount."

"Right," the blonde replied back. She took another sip but didn't want to push it. "So what's up first? Eiffel Tower? Louvre? Shopping?"

"Shopping," Lea exclaimed. Dianna laughed at her.

"Why don't we do a little siteseeing fun before we go blow an entire season's worth of paychecks on clothes we don't need," Dianna smirked at the woman in front of her. The small pout on Lea's lips slowly formed into a smile before nodding. "I suppose I can put off my need to shop for a few hours."

As quickly as they could, the girls dressed and did hair and makeup. Within the hour, they were ready to go. Outside the world was busy. Dianna had forgotten how crazy Paris was in the summer. She tensed up a bit and took ahold of Lea's hand to ground herself. Pointing and whispers followed them wherever they went. They were pretty used to this occurrence and welcomed the odd people here and there that wanted pictures and autographs. There were many 'Faberry' squeals but the girls didn't do anything to encourage more rumors.

After what seemed like forever, they made it to the giant landmark. Dianna loved the Eiffel Tower and she felt a sense of calm wash over her at the famous site. She felt so relaxed even with the insane amount of people around them. "So are we taking the stairs?" she teased Lea.

"Definitely not," she replied quickly before turning towards the elevators. The line was long but they didn't mind waiting. They chatted about their friends and what they were up to this summer. Most of them had spread out, visiting family or off shooting movies around the world. The girls snapped a selfie and sent it to them.

Finally it was their turn. They bought their tickets up to the top and squeezed into the elevator with the other tourists. They continued to hear the whispers of people wondering if they were really who they thought. The girls giggled at the others. "Who wants to take a selfie?" Lea asked loudly. Dianna laughed and nudge the other woman in her side, "Lea!" Everyone crowded around as Lea snapped the picture as best she in the cramped space. It wasn't long before they were at the top. The girls signed a few autographs once more and finally made it away from the crowd. Sneaking away, they found a spot with the least amount of people and looked out across Paris. It was so beautiful. A handful of pictures later and Dianna was lost in the beauty of the city she loved.

"Time to go," Lea said, pulling Dianna back to earth. She quickly looked over and saw Lea on her phone. "I'd say we have about 10 minutes to get out of her before we are swamped." Dianna gave her a quizzical look, confused as to what Lea meant. "I tweeted the picture of us in the elevator and captioned it 'guess where we are.'"

"Lea!" Dianna half yelled in the same tone she had used in the elevator. "We are not playing a hide and seek game with the paparazzi and Glee fans." Quickly as they could, the girls headed back down the elevator and into the crowd waiting below.

That's what they did however, mostly against Dianna's better judgement. Lea would snap a picture wherever they were and tweet it out. They would take it as they were leaving the place though so they didn't get caught too much. They spent the entire day running around, laughing and giggling and having fun as they continued their little game. Dianna was just happy her morning sickness didn't affect her too much. She knew perfectly well what Lea was doing to distract her but she let herself not think and have fun anyway.

———————-

Exhaustion took over her body as she finally laid down in bed. She cuddled up into Lea, breathing in the familiar scent. "Thank you for today." Lea kissed the top of her head in response. "Sweet dreams, pretty Di. I love you." Dianna mumbled back before quickly drifting off.


	16. Chapter 16

Dianna woke with a start the next morning. She didn't know what had woken her so suddenly but she heard the faint snores coming from the woman laying next to her. She rolled over carefully and looked at the brunette. Lea has always slept with her arms and legs flailing everywhere and her hair always covered her face. Dianna couldn't help but smile and feel her heart surge with love toward Lea.

Everything had been so messed up in her life but Lea had been trying so hard to make her feel safe and happy. Dianna slowly and gently pushed the dark brown locks out of the perfect face that laid next to her. Dianna couldn't help herself and pressed her lips against the others. Lea barely stirred. Dianna moved her lips down to Lea's jawline, then her neck and then her collarbone. A smile formed on Lea's lips as she slept. Dianna knew the other woman slept like the dead most of the time.

The blonde every so slightly moved the strap of Lea's black tank top over so she could reach more skin and she kept gently kissing her. Her long, slender fingers traced Lea's stomach, around her belly button and across the waistline of her shorts. Lea let out a soft moan and Dianna giggled before stopping and looking up at those deep chocolate eyes.

"Hi," Dianna smiled at her.

"Why did you stop?" Lea asked, "it felt nice."

"Yeah?" Dianna asked, her eyebrow arching. "You like it when I do this?" Dianna returned her fingers to Lea's waistline, gently tucking them under the top of the cotton material. Lea moaned slightly again.

Dianna couldn't help but feel turned on at the sound of the girl next to her but she really didn't want to do something Lea would regret. They were taking things one day at a time and Dianna didn't really know what Lea wanted in regards to sex.

Dianna removed her fingers once more and brought them up to Lea's chest, softly tracing circles around the woman's nipple, then up her neck to her collarbone and back again. The blonde leaned down and kissed Lea once again, this time harder, with more lust. Lea returned the kiss, now that she was awake, both girls smiling a little at the feeling.

Dianna moaned a little before pulling away, "So what's the plan for today? What do you want to do?"

Lea grinned, "You." Dianna rolled her eyes but before she could say anything, Lea had pulled her back into a kiss. Dianna laughed and kissed the woman back. It didn't take long for their sweet kisses to turn into a heated make out session, hands wandering up and down each other's bodies. Moans intensified as skin touched skin and before they knew it, they were naked. Lea was on top of Dianna, looking deep into her eyes before kissing down her body.

Dianna's body tensed up as Lea's kisses reached lower, down to the place she was desperate to be touched but terrified at the same time. Dianna could feel her mind wandering back to that day; to Jake touching her there. She tried so hard to focus on the woman in front of her but she was fading further and further away from the present.

"Di," Lea was snapping her fingers in front of hazel eyes, trying to pull her out of her flashbacks. Dianna felt her eyes focus and the sound return to her ears. "Hey, are you okay?" Lea sounded worried and the look on her face matched.

"I..." Dianna started but the words wouldn't come. "I'm sorry." She muttered, looking down with embarrassment.

"It's okay." Lea smiled, "I promise. Making out is good, okay? We don't have to go any further."

Dianna nodded, impressed by Lea's ability to admit she wanted to make out with a girl, let alone the girl in front of her. It didn't take long for the girls to remember they were naked and to smile sheepishly to each other. "I suppose we should get dressed." They laughed a little but neither made the move to get out of the bed.

"I need to shower," Lea said quickly. "Want to join me?" Those dark brown eyes sparked with excitement and nervousness.

"What has Paris done to you?" Dianna laughed at this change in Lea. "I can't shower with you though."

"Why not? It's not like I haven't seen you naked."

Dianna chewed her thumbnail, debating on what to say next. She couldn't admit that she scrubbed her body at least 3 times and still didn't feel clean. She couldn't admit that she was terrified of hurting herself with the sharp blade of a razor. She couldn't admit that showers were the scariest time for her after sleeping.

"I..just...um..." Dianna couldn't think of a lie fast enough so she just let her voice trail off.

"It's okay. Maybe another time." Lea looked disappointed but got up and walked over to the bathroom, making sure Dianna got a good look at her ass as she left the room. Dianna rolled her eyes before laying back against the pillows once more.

She picked up her phone and looked at the time. It was 9am, which meant it was midnight back home in LA. Shifting her position slightly, she pulled up Naya's messages and typed away.

D: So I'm laying in bed and Lea is singing away in the shower. It's been an interesting morning ;).

Dianna laughed at herself thinking of how Naya and Heather would read that message. She sat her phone back down and stood up, wrapping the sheet around her. It was only a few steps over to the window, where she pushed back the curtains and looked outside. She hated that Jake followed her thoughts to Paris. It was her sacred place. It wasn't supposed to be tainted. Dianna didn't know what she had expected though. It had only been a month since she had been raped. One month since her life changed completely. One month since the thing inside of her started growing. She shook the thoughts out of her head. She was still no closer to figuring out a plan for the fetus. Her brain didn't have the energy for that thought at the moment. She was in her favorite place in the world with her semi-girlfriend. It was their chance to escape and she needed it.

Her phone dinged, pulling her out of her own head. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she reached over and picked up her phone.

N: Bow chica wow wow.

Dianna laughed out loud at the ridiculous response from her friend.

D: No but I will give you all the details when we return home. Give Arthur a kiss from me. 3

Dianna laid back against the pillows once more and let the sound of Lea's singing drown out the nasty thoughts that never seemed to want to leave.


	17. Chapter 17

The first time Dianna felt the baby kick, she was 16 weeks pregnant. 4 months. It has been 4 months since that day. She was lucky enough to still be able to hide behind baggy shirts but she was showing enough that she couldn’t hide it from herself any longer. 

Dianna stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom at Lea’s and ran her hands over her tiny bump. She kept trying to pretend it didn’t exist and it wasn’t happening but her growing stomach proved otherwise. Now there was movement and kicking. 

Dianna put her shirt on and walked out of the bathroom into Lea’s bedroom. The brunette was sprawled out in her back, dark hair fanned out over the pillows, completely lost in sleep. Dianna sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her girlfriend for a moment, smiling at the sight. 

Every since they had returned from Paris months earlier, Lea had allowed herself to actually feel her feelings towards the blonde. After 2 months of benefits, Lea had finally asked Dianna to be her girlfriend the month prior. Lea hadn’t been comfortable with the relationship going public but they were happy in their bubble. Their friends knew as well.

“Lea,” Dianna whispered, gently rubbing her girlfriend’s leg to wake her up. “Baby, you have to be on set in an hour. You have to get up.” 

“No,” Lea grumbled, grabbing and pillow and burying her head.

“Come on, sleepyhead,” Dianna laughed. 

Lea pulled the pillow off her face and scrunched up her face in protest. “Di...”

“Okay, be late all you want, my love. I unfortunately do have to leave though. I have a doctors appointment.” Dianna leaned down and kissed Lea. “I’ll let you know how it goes. I have therapy later this afternoon too.”

“Okay,” Lea smiled sitting up and wiping her eyes, “call me before you go to therapy. I’ll try to have my phone around so I can answer it or at least get a PA to.”

“See you,” Dianna waved and walked out the door. 

The blonde drove to the doctor and was there much quicker than she had anticipated or wanted. She was almost half way done with her pregnancy and she still didn’t have any desire to have the thing growing inside her. 

“Ms. Agron?” The nurse called through the waiting room minutes later and Dianna followed her back. “Okay, you know the deal. Here is the gown. Panties and pants off. Drape the blanket over you. Are you okay?”

They always asked her this. The first couple times she was asked to remove clothing, she had a panic attack so badly that Naya had to come down and get her. She nodded, “I’m okay. Thank you.”

“The doctor will be right in.” The nurse left and Dianna began to strip. She did so as quickly as she could. She may not be panic attack bound but she certainly wasn’t okay with being so vulnerable in a strange place. 

“Are you ready?” The doctor asked 20 minutes later. Dianna was laying on the table. She nodded. “First I’m going to check how everything healed from the stitches, okay?” Dianna nodded again. She hated this part. The blonde winced as the doctor gently touched the areas that had been ripped and scarred. “Everything looks pretty good. There are a few scars that have faded from your last exam so they could fade completely with time. I don’t see any other issues or infections. I don’t think you’ll need to have this checked again.”

Dianna sighed in relief. She was so happy to hear that no one would be touching her down there again. 

“Are you ready to take a look at the baby?” The doctor asked.

Dianna nodded slowly. She wasn’t really but every appointment she tried and this one wouldn’t be any different. She lifted up her shirt and flinched when the cold gel made contact with her skin. The doctor grabbed the ultrasound wand and began slowly, and carefully moving it along Dianna’s tiny bump. 

It was only moments before a fast heartbeat rang out through the room. “And there is the heartbeat.” The doctor smiled. Dianna listened, happy to hear the noise but still not able to care as much as she should. 

The doctor pointed out the head, and feet. She told her that everything looked good and the baby was measuring perfectly. 

“Do you want to know the sex?” The doctor asked?

Dianna wasn’t expecting this and looked up sharply at the other woman. “You can tell?”

“I can.” 

Dianna chewed her lip for a moment before nodding. Maybe it would help her be more connected if she could name it instead of calling it the evil being inside her. 

“Congratulations, Dianna, it’s a girl.” The doctor smiled before printing off the sonogram pictures for her. Dianna took them in her hand and stared at them. 

“It’s a girl? A daughter?” Dianna asked quietly. 

“Take all the time you need.” The doctor smiled before walking out of the room. 

Dianna sat there for what felt like hours, just staring at the photo in her hands. Her daughter. She was going to have a daughter. She didn’t know how to react. She had been so terrified it would be a boy and look exactly like Jake. Now there was a higher chance of it looking more like herself. She felt so conflicted now. Who could love a child that was the result of rape? How was she going to look at her daughter everyday and know she was only here because of hatred and pain?

The vibration of her phone snapped her out of her thoughts. She grabbed it out of her purse and say Naya’s name flash up. “Hey, can I call you back?” She asked. She was about to hit the end button without waiting for a response when she heard Naya’s panicked voice on the other side. 

“Dianna, don’t hang up.” Naya pleaded.

“What’s wrong?” Dianna asked, her insides twisting in fear. Something was clearly very wrong.

“Jake was arrested today. For your rape.” Naya told her. 

Dianna dropped the phone to the floor. She could hear Naya trying to get her to answer her through the speaker but Dianna’s mind was too far away. 

How was this possible. No one knew it was Jake. She had made sure not to let anyone know. No one knew...except Lea.

“Oh my god,” Dianna ran over to the trash can and emptied the contents of her stomach. She went from scared, to nauseous to pissed off in a matter of seconds. She grabbed her phone off the floor and quickly dialed Naya’s number back.

“Di?” Naya answered quickly. “Is it true? Was it Jake?”

“Where the hell is Lea right now?” Dianna demanded. She walked through the waiting room and got into her car before Naya managed to figure out where the tiny starlet was.

“She’s in her trailer.” Naya answered.

“Keep her there. I’ll be there in 10 mins.” Dianna demanded. 

——————————-  
8 minutes later and Dianna was pulling into the lot. She waved at the guard and drove through, parking in her old spot. She slammed the car door shut and stormed through the rows of trailers until she came to the one she was looking for. She could hear the shouts of crew members trying to get her attention as she walked but she didn’t care. She marched up the steps and ripped open the door. “Naya. Out.” 

Naya looked between the two women for a moment, clearly debating what she should do. “I think I should stay.”

“You need to leave. Now.” Dianna demanded again.

Naya signed and left the trailed. Dianna turned and looked and Lea for the first time since walking through the door. 

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” Dianna yelled, throwing her purse down on the table. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

“Di, I’m sorry,” Lea started.

“No,” Dianna interrupted her. “You don’t get to apologize and act like this is all okay. I specifically told you not to do anything about this and you did it anyway.”

“Well someone had to,” Lea stood up to face the blonde. “He can’t just get away with what he did to you. To us.”

“Us?” Dianna asked, flabbergasted that that word had even come out of the smaller woman’s mouth. “You weren’t there, Lea! It was me. It was all me. You were mad at me that day. Remember?”

“I know! And I’ve felt like shit about it every since. Don’t you think I know that if we hadn’t been fighting, you wouldn’t have been raped?” Lea fought back. “Don’t you know how much it’s killing me to know that our kid was made because of hate?”

“This isn’t our kid, Lea!” Dianna snapped. “This is my daughter. Not yours.”

“Daughter?” Lea’s tone lightened. “It’s a girl?”

“Yes, she is. And she isn’t going to be around you. You’re a duplicitous two faced bitch. You been back to work less than a month and you’ve already run to Ryan and told him everything.”

“I did not!” Lea tried to reason with her. “I didn’t mean to, Dianna. I swear. Jake was just there and he was smiling and being so nice and sweet and I just got so mad and I went and yelled at him.”

“Great.” Dianna told her, zero emotion in her voice. “Glad to see you can’t control your anger. Glad to see I can’t trust you. Glad to see that our relationship didn’t mean anything to you.”

Dianna turned to leave but Lea grabbed her arm. “Dianna, I’m sorry. Please.”

“No. We’re done. I’ll be out of your apartment by the time you get home. Maybe next time you’ll be able to keep my secrets as well as you keep your own.” Dianna knew the jab at Lea not wanting anyone to know she was dating a girl was a little below the belt but she was so livid she couldn’t help herself. 

Dianna slammed the door behind her and saw Naya sitting in a chair right outside the trailer. “Glad to see you made it far.”

“I didn’t want you guys to kill each other. What happened?” Naya asked, standing up and falling into stride with her friend. 

“I can’t believe she got Jake arrested.” Dianna told her.

“So it was Jake?” Naya asked.

Dianna nodded. “Yeah, it was. I specifically asked Lea to not tell anyone until I was ready to deal with it and she just...she didn’t listen. She can’t help herself.” 

“She loves you, Di.” Naya told her.

“I know she does. But how do I trust her again after this? This is going to be all over the news by tonight. I’m going to have to go to court and relive it all. I just can’t do that. I’m barely surviving as it is. It takes all my strength to get up in the morning. She just made it worse.”

“You will get through this. You both will,” Naya tried to tell her.

“I don’t know if I will,” Dianna stopped and looked at Naya, tears filling her eyes. She finally broke down into the sobs that had been threatening to break through since she found out. 

Naya just held her close and rubbed her back while she cried. “It’ll be okay. I’m right here.”


	18. Chapter 18

“Dianna, turn that off,” Naya told her friend. The blonde had been obsessing over the entertainment news ever since Jake had been arrested the previous day. 

“I want to know what they are saying about me,” Dianna told her, not turning her eyes away from the TV.

“Glee alum, Dianna Agron, has accused a PA on the show of sexual assault. The man was arrested yesterday and taken from Paramount Studios in the middle of filming. The 26-year-old actress has yet to formally announce her pregnancy but sources say the child is a result of the alleged assault. Dianna, who appeared in the first 3 seasons of the hit show, will not be returning when the show premieres next month. For more on this story, visit our website.”

“It’s just going to make you crazy to watch it.” Naya told her, physically removing the remote from her hand. 

Dianna put her head in her hands for a moment before looking up at her friend. “I can’t believe Lea did this, Naya.”

“Di…” Naya said quietly, “this isn’t Lea’s fault and you know it.”

“She’s the one that got him arrested!” Dianna yelled.

“Hey, calm down. It’s not good for my niece for you to yell,” Naya told her, putting her hand on her arm. “Listen to me very carefully. Lea may have told that it was Jake who did this to you and for that, maybe she was wrong but Lea didn’t do this to you. Lea isn’t at fault. Lea isn’t the reason that you were raped or that you’re pregnant. I know it’s easier to blame someone you love than someone you hate but Lea is not to blame for this.”

Dianna sat quietly. She hadn’t talked to Lea since the day before. The brunette had not even called. Not once. Usually when they fought, Lea blew up her phone until the blonde inevitably gave in and answered. “I’m pregnant, Naya. Pregnant. Actually pregnant. There is a small human growing inside me. One that I will have to love and take care of and actually keep alive. I’m terrified. Shaking, butterflies in my stomach, want to throw up all the time, terrified. I was…I was….” Dianna stuttered, trying to get the word to come out of her mouth, “raped. I’m broken and dirty and pregnant. The only time I don’t feel broken is when I’m in her arms, Naya. That’s the only time. And she betrayed me.” Dianna finished and sat there when she finished, waiting for Naya to say something. 

“You can’t hate her forever,” Naya told her.

“I know,” Dianna told her.

“Forgive her.” Naya told her.

“I will. Eventually. Right now, I need to be mad though. Right now, I need to be mad. Right now, I need to be hurt.” 

“I respect that,” Naya told her, “but you know Lea. Please remember that she only acts strong. If you take too long to forgive her, it might break her. I understand being mad. It’s okay to be mad. She’s your best friend though. Don’t take too long.” Naya leaned over and kissed Dianna on the cheek. “I have to get to set. Call me if you need me. And remember, Naya is an excellent name for a baby,” Naya winked before waving goodbye and walking out the front door.

Dianna picked up her phone and opened her Twitter app. It only took a few tweets before she threw the phone across the room causing Arthur to chase after it and bring it back. She rolled her eyes and thanked him before tossing the phone onto the coffee table. People thought she was lying. They were calling her a slut. Why was it when a woman was raped, that people just assumed she was a lying? Why was that a thing? Dianna grabbed a pillow and pressed it against her mouth and screamed. 

———————————————————————————————

Dianna was woken up by the sound of knocking at her front door a couple hours later. Her entire body tensed and she stared at the door. She willed herself to go and look to see who it was, to answer it but she couldn’t. She was frozen in fear. The knock came again but this time there was a voice that accompanied it. 

“Dianna, let me in.” Lea said through the wood.

Dianna let out a sigh of relief and tears fell from her eyes. She walked over to the door and opened it before walking back to the couch. “Why are you here?”

Lea walked over to her and sat down, reaching over to wipe the tears falling from hazel eyes. Dianna pulled away. 

“Why are you here, Lea?” Dianna asked again.

“I’m surprised you moved back home, alone,” Lea said, ignoring the question. She stood up and walked over to the fireplace before turning around and looking at the blonde. 

“I had no where else to go.” Dianna snapped.

“You didn’t have to move out,” Lea told her. 

“I did!” Dianna yelled.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you, Di.”

“Then why are you here?” Dianna snapped.

“To talk to my girlfriend.” Lea replies, her voice wavering slightly.

“And who is your girlfriend exactly? It can’t be me.” Dianna whipped back, her anger rising again.

“Dianna, please.” Lea begged, her chocolate eyes filling with tears. “I love you.”

“Then you should’ve thought about that before you went behind my back to hurt me.” Dianna quickly replied. 

“I didn’t mean to! I was just so mad at seeing him at work and he was laughing and acting like he had no cares in the world. The next thing I knew, I was screaming at him. Cory and Mark had to restrain me. Ryan came out, asked what was going on and the words just tumbled out before I could stop them.” Lea pleaded. “I’m so sorry.”

Dianna chewed on the inside of her lip as Lea talked. Taking the words in but not truly caring. She knew Lea was just trying to stand up for her and she loved the tiny woman for that but she was so hurt by the betrayal.

“You broke my trust, Lea.” Dianna said simply. “I don’t know how to get that back. Not when I have a daughter to look out for now.”

“She’s mine too, Di,” Lea pressed.

“She was. But not anymore.”

“Dianna,” Lea broke down into sobs, collapsing onto the ground. Dianna fought herself hard, all the wanted was to wrap her arms around Lea and tell her she was forgiven. 

“You can leave now.” Dianna said instead. She turned around and walked to her bedroom, shutting the door before breaking down into her own sobs.


	19. Chapter 19

Dianna walked back into her living room a few hours later to see Lea curled up asleep on the couch. The blonde sighed. Of course she hadn’t left. 

“Lea,” Dianna said, gently shaking the other woman. 

Lea jumped like she had been shocked.

“Hey, you’re okay,” Dianna reassured her. She could see Lea’s brain adjust to where she was. “You fell asleep on my couch.”

Lea blinked a couple of times, “oh.”

The room was quiet for a while as Lea fully woke up from her accidental nap. “I was waiting for you to come back out. I don’t want to fight with you.”

“You broke my trust. You did the one thing I asked you not to, Lea.” Dianna explained, fighting to not raise her voice. 

Lea stood up, “it was an accident, Di. I didn’t mean to. I saw him and all I could see was you lying in that trailer with that blood and I freaked out.”

“I know,” the blonde nodded, “it’s not like I don’t get it but you just made my life much harder. I’m going to have to go to court now and explain to a room full of people exactly what happened.”

“Well, babe, you should’ve done that when it happened instead of letting him get away with what he did.” 

“It’s my choice, Lea! Not yours. It happened to me. Not you.”

“I...I know that, Di but I love you. Don’t you get that? I’m so head over heels in love with you that when I saw him I lost it.” 

“If you were so in love with me you would let our relationship be public knowledge. You wouldn’t be hiding us away. You wouldn’t be worried about your career. You would be worried about me and my kid,” Dianna snapped back. She knew she wasn’t being fair but she didn’t care. 

“Dianna. Please.” Lea looked at Dianna with those deep brown eyes, pleading. 

“Please leave, Lea.” Dianna walked over to the front door and opened it. She waited patiently for Lea to walk through it. 

“Baby...” Lea stopped in the doorway and reached for Dianna’s hand.

“I’m not your baby anymore. Goodbye.” Dianna waited until Lea crossed the threshold then slammed the door shut.   
————————————-  
Dianna sat on the floor, her back against the front door for what felt like hours. She had no doubts Lea was on the other side doing the same but she couldn’t care. She wanted to care so badly but she felt numb. Completely numb to what was happening. She had no control over anything anymore. 

She finally stood up and quickly peeked out the curtains and sure enough, Lea was curled up asleep on her welcome mat. Dianna sighed and grabbed a blanket off the couch. She quietly opened the door and covered the tiny starlet so she wouldn’t get cold. She was so angry but she loved that woman more than anything. She went back inside and picked up her phone, hitting Naya’s number. 

“Hey, Di,” Naya answered when she picked up. 

“Lea is asleep at my front door. Can you please come get her and make her leave? If she stays, I will forgive her. I’m not ready for that yet.” Dianna realized she was pacing back and forth in front of her fire place and plopped herself down on the couch. 

“Why is she asleep at your front door? Like outside?”

Dianna chewed on her lip for a moment before responding. “I broke up with her. Kicked her out. She won’t leave though.”

“Dianna Elise Agron!” Naya yelled, causing Dianna to pull the phone away from her ear. 

“I’m not doing this with you Nay,” Dianna got up and started pacing again.

“Oh you will be doing this with me. I’ll be there soon.”

Quicker than she wanted but not soon enough, she could hear Naya’s voice outside talking to Lea. She couldn’t make out the words but she could tell Lea was crying. It was killing Dianna to hear. “Stay strong, Di,” she said to herself. 

The voices outside faded for a moment before there was a knock at the door. “Let me in, Dianna.”

The blonde quickly unlocked the door and let the Latina in. “Is she gone?”

Naya nodded, walking in the kitchen and grabbing some water out of the fridge. Dianna just watched her knowing what was coming next. Naya looked at her for a moment and then commanded her to sit down. Dianna obliged. 

“What is the matter with you, Dianna? You know I’m on your side 99% of the time. I knew about your crush first, I’ve protected you, taken care of you and I’m here whenever you need me. You are one of my absolute best friends but I will not be on your side about this. This is killing Lea.”

“But, Naya—-“

“Not finished,” Naya interrupted. “You are pregnant. In 5 months you will have a daughter to take care of. A daughter with a man who could very well demand some sort of custody. You should’ve reported him day one or at least when you found out you were pregnant so there was a chance of him going to prison. This man attacked you, ripped you apart and you just want to let him get away with it.”

“Of course I don’t want—-“

“Still. Not. Finished,” Naya snapped. “I love you, Dianna. I love you so much but I do not love you as much as that woman you threw out of her. She would move heaven and earth for you. She is scared of the consequences of going public with you but I what you don’t know is that she has spent every night for the last couple weeks trying to figure out a way to make everything public. She wants you. She wants that little girl inside you. She is just scared. You can not blame her for getting mad at Jake. You can not. Do you understand me? I get that you’re traumatized, I get that things are rough but you need to wake up and figure out how to exist in the world on this side of being raped.”

Naya was finally quiet and Dianna sat for a moment before deciding to speak. “Can I talk now?”

Naya just nodded so Dianna continued, “You’re right, Nay. How do I trust her though?”

“You just do, Di. You just do.”  
—————————————-  
Dianna groaned when her phone buzzed for the 20th time in the last 10 minutes. She was trying to so hard to take a nap. Apparently that wasn’t going to happen. She picked up her phone and saw the dozens of messages from her friends. Her blood went cold. Every single one asked if she had seen the news or been on Twitter. She tapped the blue icon aa fast as her fingers would let her and waited for it to load.

“Oh shit,” Dianna said, her eyes scanning the home page. Hundreds of replies and messages sent her way. It didn’t take her long to find the source:

Lea Michele @leamichele  
It’s time the world knew...I’m completely in love with my girlfriend @alittlelamb. Dianna, it’s public now. I love you.

Dianna smiled for a moment then broke down crying. They were happy tears for the first time in months though. She couldn’t believe Lea had done this for her. All she wanted was to be in her girlfriend’s arms. Even though they had broken up. Although based on the tweet, Lea didn’t seem to accept that. 

Dianna ran out of her apartment and got in the car and immediately drove to Lea’s house. She jumped out and started banging on the door in front of her. It only took a moment for Lea to open the door and Dianna grabbed Lea’s shirt and pulled her into a passionate kiss. She’s never wanted to pull away. Finally the need for air forced the girls apart. “I love you.”

“Lea smiled, “I love you too. I’m so sorry.”

“I know, I know, baby,” Dianna said as she walked into the house. “What you did though, was really brave of you. I know how hard it was and I can’t believe you actually did it. Thank you.” 

“It’s a little scary,” Lea laughed, “but there is no one I would rather have by my side.”

“Oh god, did you ask Ryan first?” Dianna started panicking. 

“Nope. I’ve had 27 missed calls from him but I was waiting for you to appear and kiss me so I have been ignoring him.”

“You knew I would come over here?” Dianna raised her eyebrow.

“I know you better than you know yourself, Miss Agron,” Lea winked then grabbed Dianna and pulled her into another heated kiss.


End file.
